Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them

Do you ever wonder why a man like Brad Pitt would ditch a good girl like Jennifer Aniston for a bad girl like Angelina Jolie?  Sure, Angelina is now saving the world one day at a time but she wasn’t always a Mother Teresa clone. She used to be crazy, making headlines for exploring her sexuality, getting inked, and doing drugs. What on earth did Brad see in her that caused him to leave a girl-next-door like Jennifer Aniston?

And this doesn’t only happen in Hollywood. I’m sure all of you can think of a boy who fell for a girl that everybody said was totally wrong for him! Maybe she was known for her erratic behavior or for sleeping around too much. Regardless of the reason, she wasn’t a girl that you’d imagine this all around “great guy” to introduce to his parents.

In Dr. Carole Lieberman’s book Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, she discusses exactly why men fall for these so-called “bad girls” and what good girls can learn from them.

Basically, what it boils down to is this:

• Men are attracted to bad girls because they [men] are insecure
Dr. Lieberman says in her book men who feel like they aren’t “good enough” to hold onto the woman of their dreams, because they think they aren’t smart enough or good-looking enough, are more susceptible to falling for a bad girl. This is because they settle for a quality they usually wouldn’t accept in a woman (ie. what makes her “bad-girl” behavior), making him feel like he’s “saved” her. For example, Lieberman says in her book,“a man who is still wrestling with his inner nerd becomes the ‘prom king’ or ‘captain of the football team’ when he’s able to satisfy a bad girl’s needs.”

• Men are attracted to a bad girl because she’s good in bed
Lieberman says sometimes a man can be too intoxicated by what’s going on in the bedroom to realize he’s dating a “bad girl.” Or she just makes him feel like he’s the best she ever had, which is the ultimate ego-booster, increasing his attraction and addiction towards her.

• Men are attracted to bad girls because of their childhood
According to the book, men with missing fathers are also more vulnerable to the venom of a bad girl. This is because these fathers, whether they were physically or emotionally unavailable, didn’t teach their sons how to spot one. They [fathers] didn’t explain the importance of choosing a partner “for inner qualities, like her capacity to love over whether or not she’s a ‘hottie,’” Lieberman says.

• Men are attracted to bad girls if they’re risk-takers
If a guy is looking for an adventure, and he’s already gone skydiving and/or bungee jumping, he might think a bad girl is a safer sport.  Lieberman says it’s the challenge of taming a bad girl that lures a man in.

Now that we know why some men are attracted the Angelina’s and Marilyn Monroe’s of the world—  there are some valuable lessons to be learned from these bad girls.

In her book Lieberman says:

• Dress to Impress
The more put together we are, the more confident we’ll feel. Lieberman says this gives off the vibe that we appreciate ourselves. And this doesn’t mean wearing a baggy comfy sweater! She says to dress in clothes that will flatter your best assets!

• Keep Up With Cosmo Tips
Usher has even said it: “I want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed.” You get the point.

• Keep An Interesting Lifestyle
We all know this– men want to know we have a life outside of them. Lieberman says to get involved with charitable work and have interesting hobbies that will keep you busy and at times unavailable.

If you want to read more about why men love bad girls and what you can learn from them, I suggest reading her book!

What do you think collegiettes™ ? Have you ever had a crush on a guy that fell for a “bad girl”? Share your stories here on Valentine’s Day as we celebrate that  we aren’t celebrating with them!

Sources:
Dr. Carole Lieberman, psychiatrist and author