Leading into next week’s season finale, Bachelor in Paradise delivered plenty of drama, backstabbing, and all around weirdness in its penultimate episode. But we were left with these 11 burning questions that we need answered before we say adios to Paradise.
1. Was Samantha the master manipulator all along?
All the evidence clearly points to Samantha orchestrating the drama that she so vehemently claimed she wanted no part of. We don’t know what her endgame was—and maybe she didn’t know either—but she definitely made a name for herself in Paradise.
2. Are we really sad that Joe is gone?
We kind of felt for Joe when Samantha blindsided him by giving her rose to Dan. There’s no doubt that Joe played his part in Samantha’s games, but he sure took the heat for it. We’re just sorry he had to go before we could see his oddball friendship with Ashley I. play out.
3. Why are these one-on-one dates such a snore?
Can’t say we care if you’re on a yacht, salsa dancing, or roaming around town eating cheese. The one-on-one dates this season have been so lackluster that the fast forward button on our remote is almost worn out. Bring back the romantic caves from last season! We’re begging you.
4. WHY, Chris Bukowski? Just why?
Did anyone think five-time Bachelor Nation veteran Chris was here to find love? It’s amazing how pathetic he made himself look in one day’s worth of footage.
5. Why does Dan insist on playing the field?
Dan needs to give it up. You’re not going to someone here, dude. First Ashley, then Amber, now Samantha. Despite how it’s been advertised, this is not televised speed dating, and we absolutely do not think your lobster is here.
6. Will Ashley S. ever find love?
Not so long ago, everyone was going on and on about how Juelia deserved to find love. At this point, we feel much worse for Ashley S., though. We’ve watched quite a few guys dump her, but we’re still holding out hope that a guy who embraces her quirks will come along.
7. Does anyone even care about these new people showing up?
Listen closely, Paradise producers! We’re super invested in the stable couples who have been around since the beginning. So we’re pretty much over any new people that you bring in to mix things up.
8. Why is everyone so interested in Samantha?
All we can guess is that Samantha must be much hotter in person because we still don’t get it.
9. Did Justin and Mackenzie actually get married?
Please say yes. Mackenzie seems to think so, and we shouldn’t crush her spirit. Plus, two weddings in one season has to be some kind of record.
10. Is Ashley I. actually going to let Jared take her V card?
This is a tough one. It’s hard to fathom, but we’re definitely going to need a definitive answer next week.
11. Will our favorite couples survive the finale bloodbath?
Kirkley. Janner. If one or—Chris Harrison, forbid—both of these couples break up, we’re going to lose it. We know somebody’s getting engaged, but we don’t think it’s too much to ask for two couples to outlast the inevitably high split numbers.
What burning questions do you have about Bachelor in Paradise, collegiettes?