Y’all! Last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, “Cold as Ice”, was such an emotional roller coaster. I mean, it’s been days and I still haven’t been able to sort out all of my thoughts, tbh. From the most honorable of goodbyes to multiple heart-wrenching call backs to a level of humor on par with the worst kind of dad jokes, this ep. really packed a number of punches. So, without further digression, I present to you a comprehensive list of my emotional state of being, as told by GIFs:
1. When Alex said, “Put us down for a maybe,” in response to his wedding invitation.
This is peak humor.
2. When Bailey told Arizona it was one of the great privileges of her life to know her and work with her, and Arizona couldn’t handle the good-bye.
3. When Herman turned out to be the big consult, and we realized the only reason Amelia hacked away at her big brain tumor was because of her own big brain tumor.
4. When you realize that April was in the car with Matthew but the paramedics didn’t see her. Then, when Owen leads the charge to find her, she is IN THE WATER.
5. When Meredith said, “She’s not dead until she’s warm and dead.”
*war flashbacks*
6. When Meredith started to cry as she told Alex about April.
Not your best work, Ellen.
7. When Alex admitted that he hated April at first because she was all the things he wasn’t, and Meredith told him to stop saying “was.”
8. When everybody bowed their heads in the OR to pray for April, because it didn’t matter if or how or to whom they prayed, just that she would want them to.
9. When Maggie desperately shocked her over and over while Jackson begged her to stop, successfully restoring April’s rhythm.
10. And when Jackson sat at her bedside begging God, promising to believe, through his tears, if she’d just wake up and she squeezed his hand (while god damn Snow Patrol played in the background).
11. When Dr. Herman proposed the Robbins Herman Center, where Arizona will be able to continue her efforts to decrease the maternal mortality rate.
12. When the episode ended after Meredith laid the ferry boat scrub cap over the Post-it.
13. And finally, when you think about the fact that April lived and you’re back to having no clue as to what’s going to happen to her.