Ben finally saw the light and sent Olivia home on last night’s episode of The Bachelor. It was a moment that had us simultaneously cheering and maybe feeling a little bit sorry for her. Two-on-one dates always end with a really uncomfortable sendoff for the woman who’s left in some remote corner of the world to contemplate what’s wrong with her. Since Olivia fell victim to this scenario last night, we thought it was only right to give you a play-by-play of the thoughts racing through her head.
- I will stand on this sandbar plotting my revenge until the end of time…or until the Women Tell All.
- I hope they let me come inside before the hurricane hits.
- Emily, stop kissing my husband.
- This must be a sign; I’m meant to be the next Bachelorette.
- At least my hair is tied up.
- That looks like their speedboat.
- This is even more embarrassing than my striptease.
- Are we breaking up?
- Joke’s on him—we’ve been married in my mind for six weeks already.
- Is this because I said I like to “talk smart things”?
- I’m obviously still the front runner.
- How do I get to Paradise from here?
- Maybe I shouldn’t have dropped the L-bomb.
- Well, I’m not as crazy as Leah.
- I’m so shocked that I could literally fit this whole island in my mouth.
- What could the twin possibly offer Ben that I can’t?
- They sent a rejection pig to pick me up. REALLY? They couldn’t even spring for the rejection limo?
- Demi Lovato lied. There ~is~ something wrong with being confident.
- I’m Olivia Caridi, reporting live from my breakup with Ben.