As is tradition, ABC has released official bios and images of the ladies vying for Nick Viall’s heart on this season of The Bachelor. With this newfound information comes many head-scratching fun facts to help you determine which woman will be the target of America’s ridicule come January 2. Below are the nine most bizarre things we learned about Nick’s Bachelorettes.
1. Alexis is an aspiring dolphin trainer
Alexis apparently hasn’t made it in the distinctly competitive world of dolphin training, and I’d like to point out that being on this show will only deter her dream further.
2. Liz picks her nose while driving
Let’s hope this season they stick with the patriarchal practice of letting the Bachelor drive on all dates that include a car.
3. Dominique’s dream is to eat burritos with Leonardo DiCaprio and Jesus
The burritos would be from Chipotle btw.
4. Josephine says she’s an unemployed nurse
But isn’t everyone on this show unemployed? Or else they couldn’t be on the show.
5. Christen wants to break into the White House and live in the storage closet
Okay, so Christen is obviously already being marked as the crazy girl. Not only does she believe Scandal is real, but she wants to live in the White House storage closet just to see what goes on behind the scenes.
6. Lacey’s biggest fear is a guy going on another date right after a date with her
She does get that that’s the whole premise of this show, right?
7. Ida Marie would love to be a strawberry because they’re “sexual”
Perhaps even more troubling, her bio hints that she’s never read a book. I found you, Cray #2.
8. Jaimi is a pesco-pollo-lacto-ovo-paro-tarian
That means she only eats fish, birds and their byproducts. But, like, what will she have when they go on dinner dates and plates of food that they’re not allowed to eat are placed in front of them?
9. These women are basically all the SAME PERSON
These contestants have ~a lot~ in common—not just the fact that they’re all dating Nick. They also overwhelmingly adore dolphins, fake lashes, The Little Mermaid and Scandal. So we don’t have to worry about any unique personalities this season. Whew!
Study up on all the ladies here.