There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes, and Bachelor in Paradise‘s ability to entertain.
I know what you’re thinking. “Duh — isn’t that the entire point of a reality TV show? Entertainment?” Well, yes — but for a franchise that relies on a show with a format that hasn’t changed since 2002, it’s hard for things like Chris Harrison’s empty platitudes not to get old. The Bachelor and The Bachelorette certainly have their dramatic moments, but nothing compares to the hot mess that is BIP.
Luckily for everyone — especially those that stuck it out and watched the entire snoozefest that was Ar*e L*yend*k Jr.’s season — the summer show is back. Entertainment Weekly obtained a teaser for season five, and it does not disappoint.
Tia, Bibiana, Kendall, Annaliese, Chelsea, and Nysha, Krystla, all from Arie’s season, can be seen in the clip. Jordan, Chris, Joe, Connor and David from Becca’s season, Eric B. and Kenny from Rachel’s season, and Kevin from Bachelor Winter Games also make appearances.
There’s a lot going on, but highlights include Tia boldly declaring she “could fall in love,” Kimball and David drama, and of course, practically everyone breaking down in tears. Sign me the f*ck up.
Season five premieres August 7 at 8 p.m. In the meantime, check out the rest of the BIP cast here.