I have a confession to make: it wasn’t until yesterday that I finished the last quarter or so of the sixteenth season of Grey’s Anatomy. After Alex’s controversial and completely out-of-character departure, I called it quits.
But, much like after Derek’s death, I couldn’t stay away. And you know what? I was rewarded for my loyalty.
Year after year, I’ve said that if Patrick Dempsey returned to Grey’s, I wouldn’t question a thing. I’d suspend every ounce of my disbelief, and I would do it gleefully.
Had to fake his death to do secret government work for the president? Totally logical.
Cloned in his super secret government lab? Sure, why not?
Woke up in the morgue with no memory? Seriously, I’ll bite!!
Brain repaired and implanted into a cyborg, or memory uploaded to an android? Okay, that might be where I draw the line.
The point is, I’ve thought of it all. I’ve imagined every possible scenario that could bring Derek Shepherd back to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.
Well, every scenario except for the one that actually did. Yep – if you’re more of a sidelines watcher, or a tired old fan, you read that right. In the final seconds of the season 17 premiere, Dr. McDreamy Derek Shepherd graced our screens once again. And not just in flashbacks or ghostly appearances, but in a brand new lines, physically on location, full blown return.
And it’s what I deserve. But I’m scared to ask, how long will it last? Because of course, we aren’t being asked to suspend our disbelief, and Derek Shepherd, wish as I might, is not alive.
There’ll be no more elevator love letters, and no more fear-fueled, explosive reunions (though I’m crossing my fingers for a fierce, heartwarming (or wrenching, depending on how you look at it) hug, and maybe even a little bit of a beach makeout session), because Derek is still decidedly dead and it looks like Meredith is in the middle of yet another dance with death herself.
Found unconscious in the parking lot following an exhausting shift (in a long line of exhausting shifts), the episode wrapped with her sitting alone on a foggy beach, Derek slowly becoming more clear as he walked towards her, waving his arms and calling her name.
What?!
I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I thought I was going write about how ~woke~ the premiere, as most episodes are, was. How refreshing it was to see Deluca finally open up about what he was feeling. How human trafficking was next on the list of powerful lessons, or how excellent a job they did at illustrating the overwhelming strain the COVID-19 pandemic has placed on the American healthcare system.
Instead, I get to talk about a MerDer reunion?! Ugh, the overwhelming strain this has put on my heart.
I can only speculate where we go from here. The obvious is that Meredith has contracted the coronavirus. Lying in her hospital bed in the promo for next week, she expresses fear that if she falls asleep she won’t wake back up, and after losing several patients to COVID very suddenly, the correlation makes a lot of sense.
But twists and turns are a guarantee, and I wouldn’t be surprised, either, if something else was at play.
What I do know is that, at least for another episode, Derek sticks around. “I miss you,” Meredith tells him in the promo. “I know.” So if you need me, I’ll be drowning in a puddle of my own, angsty, MerDer-shipping tears.