Get a Concussion, Get a Rose: Love Lessons We Learned From Week 5 of “The Bachelorette”

Oh, The Bachelorette lovers.
 
Not only did this week not bring on the previewed Bentley-Ashley showdown, but it was yet another episode in which I kept yelling at Ashley to get a clue. Luckily, Chris Harrison somewhat told her to get a clue for me, so it wasn’t a complete waste of two hours.
 
Before I get too carried away with my frustration, here’s a smaller lesson Ashley taught us that she has yet to learn for herself: don’t waste people’s time.
 
With that, let’s get started!
 
1. Go for the lovers, not the fighters.
 
If you saw The Fighter and stared at Mark Wahlberg’s abs/biceps/face the entire time, then you may not agree with me – but hear me out.

Ashley said she was excited to see the guys try their hands at Muay Thai boxing because she wanted to see if she could find the masculinity in the guys.
 
Apparently, Ashley missed this grade school lesson, but a real man uses his words instead of his fists to solve conflicts (there is no other way to say this that isn’t equally as cheesy).
 
Sure, we want a man who can protect us, but that doesn’t mean he has to be strong in order to do so.
Unfortunately, Ashley has never been taught this, and Ames, the smartest guy in the bunch, was made to look like the weakest (the pink shorts didn’t help, either).
 
“I have not been in a fight in my life,” Ames said. “My take on physical violence is that there’s pretty much always another way, and usually, I’ll seek that way.” HOT. C’mon, Ashley!
 
Ryan (did we really need another reason to dislike this guy?) accidentally gives Ames a concussion during their match, and poor Ames is taken to the hospital.
 
“I had no idea that this was going to turn out to be such a bloody fight,” Ashley said. “I thought it was going to be a really fun thing, and I thought everyone was going to bond, but it actually blew up right in my face.”
 
Really, Ashley? You thought making a bunch of guys fight each other for a girl wouldn’t go too far? She must not watch a lot of reality TV.
 
When Ames finally caught back up with the group, Ashley immediately went to see how he was. And at the rose ceremony, Ames was the fourth guy to receive a rose whereas Ryan was the last guy to get a rose. I think we all know who really won that match.
 
Lesson: Fighters may look sexier, but the lovers are the guys you should really go for. Lovers can resolve conflicts without resorting to violence, which is beneficial to any relationship. If you can find a guy who looks like a fighter but is a lover, such as Ames, then the more power to you.
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2. Question the source of a rumor before you act on that rumor.
 
Similar to the past lesson, guys will go to extreme lengths to win a girl from each other. Because William is a child (hey, he said it, not me), he decided to use sabotage to win Ashley from Ben C.
 
“I can be every kind of extreme,” William said. “I can be the most romantic guy in the room; I can be the funniest guy in the room; I can be the biggest d**k in the room.”
 
Well, he definitely proved he can be the last one when he told Ashley that Ben C. was looking forward to online dating once he was off the show.

When Ashley told Ben C. she was sending him home, before she even confronted him about William’s accusation, Ben C. was clearly – and rightly – furious.
 
While Ben C. did not deny the claims, he said he had just been kidding around. I can understand Ashley’s frustration with what he said, but she should have at least approached him about it before sending him packing. Guys say dumb things around each other, and if it had been a big issue, I think the guys would’ve mentioned Ben C.’s true intentions to Ashley.
 
Instead, Ashley decided to take William for his word. William: the guy who is on a two-on-one date and competing with Ben C. for a rose – probably not the best decision on Ashley’s part.
 
“I’m in complete shock,” Ben C. said. “I’m just completely blown away. I have no idea what just happened.”
 
Why would Ashley listen to William’s claims of Ben C.’s ‘ulterior’ motives and not even listen to her friend’s accusations about Bentley? IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! Now she’s let go of a probably decent guy, and she’s crazy in love with a jerk. Perfect.
 
Lesson: When you hear a rumor (let’s just say the rumor is that the guy you like is only dating you to promote his business), question the validity of the rumor based on how much you trust the source. In this particular situation, if the source is a guy who would like to date you, too, then it’s probably not the most accurate rumor. If it is a bunch of guys who would like to date you, then it’s probably true, but you should still be skeptical. If the source is your actual friend who has no interest in dating you, then that rumor is probably true. You get my point; Ashley obviously doesn’t.
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3. Not having a significant other isn’t the worst thing in the world.
 
This was sadly the main lesson of Monday night, and it is quickly becoming the lesson of the entire season (other than never name your daughter Cozy). Come to think of it, this lesson is pretty much the opposite of what this entire show is about.
 
Of course, most of us want a happily ever after with Prince Charming. But, ladies, not having a Prince Charming doesn’t mean you won’t get a happily ever after.
 
Say it with me now: “Ya Ya!”
 
Just kidding, but seriously, I’m not saying this as a bitter single person or as an extreme feminist. I’m saying it as someone who believes in love just as much as Carrie Bradshaw, Lloyd Dobler and every Disney princess does.

But it really concerned me just how much Ben C., William and Ashley dreaded the idea of ending up ‘alone.’
 
Let’s observe:

• Ben C.: “It’s very disheartening to have come this far to realize that this wonderful, amazing love story is not going to ultimately be mine. What a terrible way for things to end. Terrible, terrible way for things to end. Such a shame.” Buck up, Ben! There’s always online dating!
• William: “If I leave here, I go back to nothing – simple as that. You just sit back, and you think about it, and you wish you could do everything in your power to be a man and not a f***ing idiot … I’ll probably just end up slipping back into that dark hole that I have again and slide the rock over top. I just want to curl up in bed now and just not wake up.” Ouch … There’s always online dating?
• Ashley: “There’s a part of me that’s scared that these guys aren’t here for me, and I don’t know if this is going to work for me now. And I’m afraid that I’ll be all alone in the end – that scares me.” Better to be in a relationship with someone you don’t love than to be alone, I always say!

You get my point. Maybe it’s good that Ashley let go of Ben C. and William – it seems they only wanted to be on the show so they could have a reason to live, not because they actually, you know, liked Ashley.
 
Ashley sounds just as bad. I’m hoping our Bachelorette doesn’t choose someone just for the sake of doing so, but as more weeks pass, the more it sounds as though it’s going to happen this way. Can’t wait!
 
Lesson: Love does happen, and most of us would like to marry a great guy one day. But it doesn’t happen for some people – and they end up being fine, if not better, for it. It’s better to be happy alone than to be in a miserable marriage or relationship, so only choose to be with someone because you like them, not because you don’t want to be single. George Clooney wouldn’t be the first person to tell you that marriage isn’t for everyone, and he certainly won’t be the last.
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Other Observations from Week 5:

• Ashley and Ben F.’s “mental kiss” may be the funniest moment of the entire season. Despite Ben F.’s prediction that there was “a 100 percent chance that Ashley will get kissed today,” his plans were temporarily stalled when Ashley took him to a temple where it’s sacrilegious to kiss. So they decide to “mental kiss,” which was pretty much just them closing their eyes. I guess it was just too difficult for them to step away from the temple and then kiss.   
• Was Ames, who had just suffered a mild concussion, drinking on the group date? Maybe he’s not so smart after all…
• William continued to prove just how much of a genius he is when he told Ashley he was a 30-year-old boy as opposed to a 30-year-man. On top of that, he said that he was “not ready to fully grow up,” was looking for someone to have fun with and still had a lot to do in life. Did he not realize he was on a show that is meant for people who want to SETTLE DOWN? Yeah, he pretty much dug his own grave with that one.

• When Ryan sat down with Ashley after the fighting portion of the group date, she could not get over all of his injuries, which included a bruised eye, bruises on his arm and some sort of injury to his nose. Ashley apparently forgot that Ryan was the one who gave Ames a concussion.
• Ashley’s ‘golf lesson’ from Lucas was just gross. However, I did enjoy how seriously he took her lame flirting attempt. Please … like she really cared about learning how to golf.
• Chris Harrison Moment of the Week: When Ashley said it’s not normal that she thinks of Bentley in times when she needs comfort, Chris needlessly yet bluntly replied, “No.” He pretty much looked at her as if she were insane. I love Chris Harrison.

 
Who’s Left: Ames, Ben F., Constantine, Lucas, Ryan P., J.P., Mickey and Blake
Who Went Home: Nick, William (hooray!) and Ben C.
 

My Prediction for the Top 4 (as of this week)*
Ames
J.P.
Ben F.
Lucas
 
Who do you think should have gone home Monday night, collegiettes™? Will we finally get to see Bentley’s return next week? How ugly was Ashley’s outfit when she went to dinner with Ben F.? Let us know, and I’ll see you back here next week!
 

Sources
 
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2011/03/ashley-hebert-getting-to-know-…
 
http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/bachelorette-season-7-episode-5/
 
http://247koesters.blogspot.com/2011/05/bachelorette-our-guilty-pleasure…
 
http://realitytvmagazine.sheknows.com/2011/06/20/the-bachelorette-recap-… (Photo Source: ABC)

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