I just got back together with my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me while we were long-distance. He now goes to school much closer to me and I can see him every weekend. All my friends keep telling me “once a cheater, always a cheater” but I don’t believe it. Do you think this is really the case? Is it stupid to get back together with him?
Dear Doll,
I don’t believe the idea of “once a cheater, always a cheater” because people act out unconsciously and we all have the potential to chance. However, that takes consciousness, integrity and clear commitment. I do believe in noticing someone’s character and believing in the way they life their life. That goes for how you life your life too. Did you get back together because you’re geographically closer together, so it seemed like the next logical step? Why are you with him? How does the relationship inspire you to be the best of who you are? What does your relationship offer to those around you? What do you admire about him? Are there ways he lives his life which don’t really work for you (i.e. he lies to his friends but thinks it’s okay, he isn’t thoughtful, he is self-centered, he is a bully, etc)? Do you feel any anxiety in the pit of your belly about him or the relationship? If so, check it out. What do you get out of perpetuating that feeling in your life? That feeling is definitely your inner guidance communicating with you, but until you get the lesson (even if you break up with him) you will continue to attract guys like him. Let me know how it goes.
All my love,
Ali