It’s basically a given at this point that I’m going to go into any and every episode of Grey’s Anatomy braced for some sort of disaster. And not just disaster, but disaster that’s usually accompanied by an overwhelming glimpse into the internal struggles of the people facing them, or even just the outright good of humanity. Either way, it makes for a tumultuous war, from my heart to my tear ducts.
One of many cases in point is the finale of the seventh season. When a plane crash killed everyone onboard except for a young girl who was flying alone, several families of the deceased remained in the cafeteria to make sure that she wouldn’t be alone. People who were just beginning to process what was likely the biggest grief of their lives – people who’d just lost their children, their spouses, their parents. Instead of feeling resentment towards the one person that had lived instead of their loved one, instead of collapsing in on themselves in their sadness, they stayed. And when the girl’s mother made it to the hospital, they kept their brave faces on. One couple told her that their son was in surgery and would be okay, putting a complete stranger before themselves and only leaving after she reunited with her daughter.
So now, ten seasons later, I go into every episode braced for the worst. I brace for my favorite doctors to die. I brace for patients I haven’t even had the chance to become attached to to die. I brace for Meredith to ruin her career and for people that absolutely do not go together to hook up and now, I brace for the beach.
It’s the new, eerie empty Seattle Grace, and though Denny, Dylan, Bonnie and Doc have failed to make appearances, a new set of familiar faces that we never thought we’d see again seem to be serving the same purpose.
It started with Derek, and at first I thought the beach was Meredith’s fever dream – a place her mind went amid the fear and the fog of the coronavirus. Somewhere calm, with someone comfortable. Purgatory, or something like it, became unlikely when Derek pointed out that none of it was real. But this week George appeared in his place, and while Meredith could have made up the things he said, I think she’s still a little too dark and twisty for all of his positivity.
Besides the fact that George was surprised to see her there, suggesting a separate consciousness, he swore he would have stayed if he could, but knew that it didn’t matter if he regretted stepping in front of the bus or not because it wouldn’t change anything. I think Meredith could have guessed all of that, but I’m not so convinced that, while debating whether she could choose to stay or go or how it would affect the people that loved her, she would have been able to correlate the grief she carries forever for Derek with the grief that George’s mother carries for him, something George wishes he could snap her out of.
How did we get here again?! Who’s going to show up to help her make this unreasonably difficult decision next? Ellis? Lexie? Even more stressful, Koracick? Maybe he, too, will contemplate his will to live. Maybe he’ll give Meredith the kick she needs to go back, and vice versa. Or, most stressful of all, maybe he’ll say goodbye on his way to wherever he goes next.
In this, the hell year 2020, entertainment television should not be freaking me out this much. I expect it, but I don’t accept it, and I’m already stressing out about who’s going to show up on Stress Beach next week.