Ever since Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly’s weird sides have been put on blast, the pair has arguably become the most talked-about (and cringed about) couple on the internet. The current king and queen of PDA – from red carpets to music videos – are a tale as old as time; two incredibly hot people start dating and the internet rejoices – until they start giving off “high school band kids after one week of dating” vibes. One might say Fox and MGK give big, “She was fearless and crazier than him. She was his queen, and God help anyone who dared disrespect his queen” energy (from the 2016 Joker and Harley Quinn meme, if you’re completely lost). The self-described “twin flames” reached a new level of virality on October 11th, when their British GQ interview hit the shelves.
Perhaps the most well-memed quote from the interview is of Fox retelling their first meeting: “I just remember this tall, blond, ghostly creature and I looked up and I was like, ‘You smell like weed.’ He looked down at me and he was like, ‘I am weed.’” Now, listen – the profile isn’t all cringe – Fox also shares her struggle with body dysmorphia, and also makes it clear that the two are very obviously in love. However, there’s no question that some of the quotes are particularly absurd. Much of it reads like a scene from Twilight, leading me to wonder if Fox and MGK might have a Wattpad writing gig on the side. Fox and MGK both posted photos from the shoot on Instagram, with even more fanfiction-sounding captions to promote the spread – all of which are leaving the internet utterly dumbfounded. If you’re feeling a little confused, allow me to break down the most popular post so far:
the tale of two outcasts and star crossed lovers caught in the throes of a torrid, solar flare of a romance featuring:
Here, Fox introduces the caption (tell me this isn’t the quintessential fic summary). It’s obvious that the two outcasts are Fox and MGK – Fox was famously sexualized by Hollywood, only to be belittled by the industry as well as, shockingly, other women, when she spoke out, while MGK has been described as having an “angry, ostracized youth.”
The inclusion of “star crossed” alludes to Romeo and Juliet, which begs the question, has Megan Fox read the play? She knows how it ends, right? With words like “throes” and “torrid” it truly does read as Shakespearean – and as me trying to meet the word count requirement of a research paper. The two revealed in GQ that they have matching tattoos that say, “The darkest fairytale,” so they obviously have a pretty eerie view of their relationship. Can’t wait to find out why!
feverish obsession
It’s crystal clear that Fox and MGK are obsessed with each other (I mean, even Fox’s collaboration with Boohoo included an homage to MGK). TBH, I can’t help but hear this line as being read by Joe Goldberg from You.
guns
Honestly I’m just getting increasingly concerned with this one, and we’re only on number two.
addiction
This is probably connected to Fox helping MGK kick his drug habits (for which I’m very happy for him), but could also be another weird allusion to their obsessions with each other – they’re less than subtle about it, after all.
shamans
Fox and MGK took a trip (in multiple ways) to Costa Rica over the summer. They participated in an ayahuasca ceremony, which involves shamans guiding Westerners in using ayahuasca, a psychoactive brew, as a “tool for psychological healing, personal growth, or expanding consciousness.” Fox told Jimmy Kimmel that it was a “good bonding experience” that made them feel like they had gone “to Hell for eternity.” Talk about intense.
lots of blood
Is everyone okay, though?!
general mayhem
Since MGK described himself as “a motherfucking outlaw,” this one comes as no surprise. Once again, absolutely overflowing with Joker and Harley Quinn vibes. The GQ interview even refers to them as “partners in crime,” which also reminds me of a 13-year-old couple posting for their anniversary.
therapy
Go Megan Fox! I love encouraging mental health and am happy they’re practicing self care, but can’t help but wonder why she chose to place it at this particular spot in the list. GUNS! OBSESSION! BLOOD! MAYHEM! And then, therapy.
tantric night terrors
“Tantric” is derived from the word “tantra,” which Merriam-Webster defines as “one of the later Hindu or Buddhist scriptures dealing with techniques and rituals including meditative and sexual practices” (at this point I know way too much about their sex life) or “the rituals or practices outlined in the tantra.” “Tantra” can also mean “weave.” Not sure which definition Fox was going for, but I don’t think either of them relate to night terrors. Is she suggesting they meet each other in their nightmares? Someone write that script ASAP!
binding rituals
This could relate to the aforementioned ayahuasca ceremony. Oh, and MGK wears a literal vial of Fox’s blood as a necklace – I think he took “Bloody Valentine” too seriously.
chakra sound baths
Surprise, surprise, the “soul’s reflection” is extremely spiritual. As per Vogue, a chakra sound bath aims to “bathe participants in waves of sound to balance and unblock the body’s energy centres, known as the chakras.” I actually can’t judge them on this one – I’d like to dunk my chakra in some ice cold water.
psychedelic hallucinations
Fox and MGK love their psychedelics. The pair also visited Bora Bora, where they wandered around “for an eternity” after taking “very strong” shrooms.
organic smoothies
Wait, I think I missed a couple chapters… How’d we get from “lots of blood” to Jamba Juice?
and the kind of sex that would make Lucifer clutch his rosary
Ah, the exact phrase I’d put directly after “organic smoothies.” At this point, everything I’ve learned about Fox and MGK’s sex life has been against my will (especially his continued Instagram caption use of, “Meet me in heaven and let’s fuck like demons,” because if I had to read that, you do, too).
What a ride. I feel like I just read the entire After series, which was not on my list for today. I’ve learned from Fox’s 1000-page novel that her and MGK are in LOVE love, though I can’t say I’m any clearer on many of the reasons why. This latest interview – and post – proves just how much cringey stuff hot people can get away with. Jesse Rutherford and Devon Lee Carlson, Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky, and Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively love to pack on the PDA, but it’s always in a way that still manages to make the internet swoon. These two are firmly planted on the other side of the coin, alongside Justin and Hailey Bieber and Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, who tend to generate the “ick” reaction. Still, isn’t the point of love to be disgusting? Fox and MGK are happy together, and even though they might post captions that sound like they had a thesaurus open while writing them, this interview was an interesting (albeit strange) insight into the relationship between two people who are madly in love. While I could’ve done without learning that their Airbnb table “saw some things,” they seem to compliment each other very well, and, being a massive Megan Fox fan, I’m glad that she’s found someone who she feels she can be herself around; isn’t that what we all deserve, anyway? Even with the organic smoothies and night terrors, I’m definitely looking forward to the continuation of the MGK/Megan Fox saga.
But please, hold the blood moving forward.