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Narcissistic Friends

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Irene S. Levine

I can never get a word in edgewise with my friend. I like her but she is super narcissistic. What are the best ways to deal with a friend who wants to always talk about herself? 

If you can’t find a subtle way to change the topic when she’s speaking, directly ask her to slow down or stop for a minute. You’ll probably startle her because she’s so used to talking uninterrupted. Tell her how frustrated you feel about not being able to say something. Whatever you do, don’t call her narcissistic; that will only make her defensive. 

Instead, focus on talking about your own feelings and see if she responds appropriately. If your get-togethers continue to make you feel like you’re having conversations with a re-run of a bad TV show, you either have to accept her as she is—or downgrade your relationship. She may be more tolerable in small doses. With the time you recoup, you can nurture other friendships with people with whom you can have more meaningful and balanced conversations.

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Dr. Irene S. Levine blogs as "The Friendship Doctor" on the Huffington Post and Psychology Today, where she provides readers no-nonsense advice and guidance. Her own blog, The Friendship Blog, has become a unique watering hole for people who want to better understand their friendships. She writes a bimonthly mental health column called Mind Matters for AAAS Science Magazine's online publication, ScienceCareers. Irene’s career straddles two worlds: Trained as a psychologist, she is also an award-winning freelance journalist and author. She spent the major portion of her career as a senior manager and policymaker at the National Institute of Mental Health in Rockville, Maryland. She currently holds a faculty appointment as a Professor of Psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. Her writing—focused on health, lifestyles, travel and relationships—has appeared in scores of newspapers (including the Chicago Tribune, Dallas Morning News, New York Times, Newsday, and USA Today) and national magazines (such as AARP Bulletin, Better Homes and Gardens, Bottom Line Health, Health, Ladies Home Journal, Prevention, and Reader's Digest). Her latest book is Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. Offering tools for personal assessment, case stories, and actionable advice for saving, ending, or re-evaluating a relationship, Dr. Levine shows that breakups are sometimes inevitable---even between the best of friends. She is a widely sought-after speaker on the topic of friendship.