Whenever I go to a baseball game, I don’t do much besides buy overpriced ice cream and leave early because I can already tell the team I’m supposed to be rooting for is losing. But apparently, baseball can be a wild sport—just ask Philadelphia woman Kathy McVay.
McVay was in the stands at a Philadelphia Phillies game on Monday night, minding her own business. Enter the Phillie Phanatic, mascot for the Phillies. Wikipedia describes him as a “large, furry, green bipedal flightless bird with an extendable tongue,” which is absolutely terrifying. (And also my first time learning that birds have tongues, apparently?). But take that nightmare and add the final cherry on top: The Phillie Phanatic carries around a hot dog gun and shoots hot dogs into the crowd with no mercy.
I’m sure you can imagine how this story ends.
According to Deadspin, McVay was sitting near the home plate when the Phillie Phanatic fired and hit her in the eye with a hot dog, sending her glasses flying and leaving her with a nasty black eye (but thankfully, no concussion). McVay couldn’t even defend herself against the hit, because a shoulder injury prevented her from throwing her hands up to protect her face.
If this sounds like an elaborate lie, I promise you it’s not—McVay isn’t even the first baseball fan to have to deal with a hot dog-induced injury from a mascot.
In 2009, a man named John Coomer was attending a Kansas City Royals game when their mascot Sluggerrr (a royal lion, which is actually way less scary to me than a giant, tongued bird, TBH) threw a foil-wrapped hot dog that struck his eye and gave him permanent eye damage. Coomer even sued the Royals over the incident, but ultimately lost.
McVay, for her part, was a total champ about the whole thing, and was even joking about it, so I have a feeling she won’t be filing any lawsuits of her own.
My biggest question: When is someone going to realize that giving mascots hot dogs to fling about as they please is not a good idea? How many black eyes have to be made before someone stops this nonsense?