It’s official: Fall is the season for sad songs. Between the tear-jerkers in Midnights and the debut of “Lift Me Up,” Rihanna’s heartfelt tribute to Chadwick Boseman, it’s been difficult to listen to new music lately without crying. In her long-awaited return to the music world, Selena Gomez makes sure that our tears don’t stop flowing. Gomez’s documentary, My Mind & Me, has just dropped on Apple TV+ — and with it, her latest and most emotional song.
Sharing the name of her documentary, Gomez’s new song “My Mind & Me” offers a deep-dive into her mental health struggles. Though many know Gomez for her comedic roles in Wizards of Waverly Place and Only Murders in the Building, behind the laugh tracks and witty one-liners, the actress-musician-producer lives with bipolar disorder, along with the physical condition lupus. The lyrics of “My Mind & Me” explore Gomez’s complex relationship with bipolar disorder, especially in regards to how her career affects it. Like her documentary, “My Mind & Me” is raw, layered, and incredibly brave.
Gomez’s direct address to the listener (“Wanna hear a part to my story?”) creates an immediate feeling of intimacy. Throughout the song, Gomez exposes all to us, from her confessions to “trying to hide in glory” to “sometimes feeling like an accident.” As I interpret these lyrics, fame isn’t enough to fight against pain. More often than not, “glory” can even exacerbate the hurt.
While Gomez has thousands of friends and fans (is “Selenators” still a relevant phrase?), she admits to often feeling isolated. Lines like, “Never check on the passenger/ They just want a free show,” emphasize how some tend to overlook Gomez’s mental health struggles and see her purely as an entertainer. Gomez also describes how, oftentimes, she feels “like a burden” when she’s vocal about her experiences. In addition to “feeling like a burden,” these lyrics allude to Gomez’s loneliness within the music industry. In her interview with Rolling Stone, Gomez admitted, “My only friend in the industry really is Taylor [Swift], so I remember feeling like I didn’t belong. I felt the presence of everyone around me living full lives.”
On a more hopeful note, Gomez wonders if her vulnerability might bring comfort to those who are going through similar struggles. The lyrics, “If somebody sees me like this, then they won’t feel alone now,” are, in my interpretation, bittersweet. Here, Gomez normalizes being open about mental health. Though Gomez is unbelievably successful, we need to remind ourselves that she, too, is human. Evidently, she might have more in common with us than we’d expect.
“My Mind & Me” offers only a brief glance into Gomez’s journey through fame and mental health. For Gomez’s full story, check out her documentary on Apple TV +. And stay tuned — Gomez’s new song might just hint at an upcoming album.