Let’s start with a little background information: The Master Cleanse, also called, “The Lemonade Diet” is a no-food, starvation-based diet that has recently achieved fame and notoriety from extensive celebrity namedropping. It has also been coined “The Beyonce Diet” as Beyonce Knowles allegedly went on this diet for 14 days to lose a total of 20 pounds for Dreamgirls. All claims aside, I was curious about The Master Cleanse, so I decided to try it.
Every day of the diet, the dieter is allowed to drink an unlimited amount of “Lemonade” with as many cups of Decaffeinated Herbal Detox Tea as the dieter would like. Each serving of Lemonade includes 10 ounces of water, 2 tablespoons of maple syrup, 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, and 1/8 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. In addition, it is recommended to do a salt-water mixture laxative or a laxative herbal tea, but I chose to forgo these options for obvious reasons.
My goal is to hit 8 days on the Master Cleanse. I went to Westside Market to start my Master Cleanse shopping spree. Immediately, I felt ridiculous in line buying only cayenne pepper, maple syrup, and lemon juice in those little lemon-shaped containers. The woman checking people out in line felt so bad for me – because she realized that I was about to torture my body – that she gave me $5 off of my super expensive organic grade B maple syrup. The lady behind me had also done the cleanse and said it was miserable, but to take vitamins concurrently. Thankfully, I already do, so maybe it will help out.
I also went to University Housewares to buy a gallon container and three 10-ounce water bottles, so that I can re-fill them with the big stock that I will have in my fridge. Game time!
Upon mixing the juice up, my first thought was, “wow, that’s a shitload of maple syrup.” The mix of the sugar from the maple syrup and the sour from the lemon juice smelled exactly like what I chased all of my tequila shots down with in Cabo over Spring Break. Eek – not a positive correlation!
I added the water, and I came to the conclusion that to call the mixture lemonade is a huge misnomer. The mixture is a brownish yellow hue without the pepper. If you pre-mix, definitely do not add the pepper beforehand unless you like regularly burning your lips and mouth.
Day 1:
I woke up late (around 11am), and was studying and working in my room… As of right now, no desire to eat or drink, but I can feel myself getting hungry soon. I am going to grab some lemonade and get this show on the road.
Side note: Five Guys opened today in the neighborhood… so coincidental right? Five Guys and my Master Cleanse have such similar goals aye? Bummer!
It’s officially 5:00pm and I haven’t eaten or had one lemonade to drink. Whoops… getting hungry going to get one now!
6:00pm – Finally got my juice. Well, the juice doesn’t taste bad at all, but it got VERY spicy because I left a small pre-mixed bottle in the fridge. I also made a bunch of the allowed cups of herbal tea, which are really nice. It’s decaffeinated so it doesn’t keep me up, and there’s something nice about being able to have something warm in my belly. I suppose the illusion of food is better than nothing? So far, not so bad.
Day 2:
Surprisingly I’m not that hungry – today has been a long one though. Last night I was up late working on an intense paper for psych (all of two pages that took 6 hours) and I had to wake up and turn it in. Julia and I went downtown to check out a formal venue for DG and I was surprisingly energetic.
No cravings for physical food, though whenever I smell anything I am freakishly attracted to that food. More to come…
Day 3:
You know you’re on a liquid diet when… the closest thing to food you’ve had in days is your birth control pill… but really. I have pretty much quit being hungry. The only unfortunate thing about this diet today has been the fact that everyone is going out. It’s a Friday, Friday, Friday so everyone is getting drunk together.
I drank a lot of lemonade today though, maybe that’s why I wasn’t hungry at all. I also had a half cup of chicken stock with lemon juice, diluted with another cup of water. So far, this is the only “food” I have had. Yes, technically this is illegal and completely against the rules of the diet, but I felt very weak. I’m going to bed early tonight because I am very tired.
Day 4:
As my friend Lauren pointed out, I should probably be weighing myself. However, Day 4 was remarkably easy. I skated through it, in fact. There were absolutely no cravings for food, and I even went to “dinner” with some of my friends. They were uptown from their respective places of dwelling, and I really needed to see them. I thought that the sheer temptation of being at Mel’s, where I ate my “Last Supper” would be enough to break the diet, but it surprisingly was not bad.
Also, I noticed today that my ability to regulate my body temperature has gone out the window. Later, homeostasis! But really, in these uncharacteristically cold spring days, I wish I could stay warmer without adding even more layers.
Day 5:
Sunday was a tired day. I think this cleanse is really starting to take its toll. My body physically feels lighter in a way and more efficient, but I’m realizing that I need more food and more sleep than I am currently getting in order for my brain to be pleased with me. I can feel myself losing my sharpness, and it is somewhat awful. I like talking about the diet with people, though nobody seems to think it can be very good for you. After yesterday and how miserable I have started to feel, I am undoubtedly in agreement. Still just juices today, though again I do think the cleanse is “working.”
Day 6:
I woke up tired, but at a normal hour. I had a long day ahead of me, which included classes, errands, a hair appointment, and a Knicks game, so I knew I had to drink right away in the morning. I started to have patchy, black vision. Not a good sign. I drank almost double the lemonade that I had in days prior, and it seemed as if they were not helping.
I am without question well into starvation mode, and my body is starting to shut down. For some reason, no amount of lemonade is helping. It was a continuous struggle throughout the evening, though I just felt weak, not hungry. I went to bed at a reasonable hour, because I had plans to wake up brutally early to study the next day.
Day 7:
I am going to quit the diet today. I woke up from about 5 hours of sleep feeling like death, with my vision still patchy. I drank the Kombucha I left in the fridge, knowing that it wouldn’t make my stomach hurt after so much herbal tea, and it gave me a little bit of energy. I bought two of Justin’s “Honey and Peanut Butter” packets from Westside, because I felt myself shaking constantly. I ate a peanut butter packet, trying to ease myself back onto food. I think the next phase will be some juice and some soft foods. This is completely not the way that the official diet plan says to return to food, but I’m searching for an expedited process, seeing that I have a midterm in a few hours.
Recap:
The Master Cleanse was an interesting experience for me. I was a vegetarian for about 9 years, but apart from that, I have never tried to limit my food intake in any way. To not only restrict my eating habits, but to restrict them so much that they didn’t even include eating was a big jump, and perhaps one that my body wasn’t ready for.
That being said, I did have more challenges when I started out than most people may have – curiously low blood pressure makes me prone to fainting, so when I feel dizzy and shaky, I get nervous and need extra rest. I think that for someone who is not particularly prone to headaches and who doesn’t have a condition that makes fainting more frequent, this cleanse could be a great experience.
To answer the question that everyone probably wants to know, yes, I did lose weight on the diet. I usually weigh in around 136 lbs at a little over 5’9” but by the end of the diet I was hitting around 128 lbs. While this poundage doesn’t make a huge difference when it’s spread across a relatively tall girl, I did the diet for 7 full days, but began to see results after about 2 days.
However, some of these results may not have been focused around actual weight lost. Because sugar intake is high and salt intake is eliminated on the cleanse, there is no bloating or water storage by salt whatsoever. Most people think of salt as a dehydrating substance, but salt is actually used to store water in the body, sometimes to the point of bloating or swelling – ever woken up a puffy disaster after a big order of take-out Chinese food? Essentially, in eliminating the body’s ability to store a lot of water via salt, most bloating, swelling, and puffiness disappear – I felt as if my skin was tighter to my bones and looked more svelte.
If you’re like me and workout frequently (though I didn’t on the cleanse…) you may have some raised veins in your arms, upper body, and feet. Beware – all of the sugar intake from the maple syrup makes your veins rise farther out of your body. I started to look like I had “just come from the gym” by about the second day of the diet.
Essentially, by not eating food, my body just eliminated and started to look slim. Also, the combination of no salt and high sugar made my skin appear more taught. All in all, I’m pretty sure my body will put the weight back on, especially once I start working out again and require more caloric intake.
Overall, I would recommend this diet in several instances. Definitely try it if:
- You want to test your discipline
- You feel the need to detox completely
- You really like cayenne pepper
- You have done a liquid fast before and know what it entails
I would avoid the diet if:
- You are just trying to lose weight. This is a starvation diet that has to slow the metabolism… there are certainly better ways.
- You are sensitive to sugar, ie. Diabetes, hypoglycemia
- You play on a sports team or are training for an athletic competition. It absolutely zaps your energy level so be careful!
- You are easily swayed by the volition of others. If you start the diet and fail, you’re going to be frustrated – if you’re going to be talked out of it, wait longer until you’re ready!