I’m not ashamed to say that there are days during the week when I find myself scrolling on TikTok more than actually being productive. Luckily for me, that means I’m constantly refreshing my mind with new inside jokes, lingo, and phrases, all coined by different TikTok users. Whether or not you’re a TikTok fanatic, there are references that (IMO) you should be aware of, at the bare minimum — and the internet’s most recent favorite is the “Very demure, very mindful” TikTok trend.
It all started on Aug. 6, when TikTok user Jools Lebron (@joolieannie) posted a video captioned, “How to be demure and modest and respectful at the workplace” where she explained how she carries herself at work. In the video, she starts off by saying, “You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful.” She continues to explain that she keeps it low-key, modest, and simple – not anything extravagant or over-the-top (or, in her words, “not coming to work with a green cut crease”). One particular part of this video that users adored was Jools explaining the modest neckline of her top, which she describes as having “only a little chi-chi out, not my cho-cho.” (TBH, I’m still not quite sure what a “cho-cho” is, but that’s another conversation for another time.)
Other users across TikTok have taken to the “very demure, very mindful” phrase, including user @sh4_n1c3 whose video went viral after posting her half-eaten (and still perfectly stacked) Chipotle bowl, captioning it, “very demure”. In the video, she says, “You see how I eat my bowl and it still keeps its composure and structure? Because I eat my bowl nice. Be mindful of why you got the bowl.”
From what I’ve seen, TikTok has coined being mindful and demure essentially as being classy. I’ll be honest, I’d never heard the word “demure” before its’ rise on TikTok, so I did a little research on what it actually means. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “demure” means to be “modest and reserved” and acts as an adjective when you’re speaking. Even though TikTok users are putting a more goofy, cutesy spin on the word, it’s ultimately the same as being “proper” or “decent” — just in a fun, Gen-Z way.
Who started the “very demure, very mindful” TikTok trend?
While Lebron may be credited for the “very demure, very mindful” trend, there’s another creator who believed that Lebron “stole” this phrase from her content. TikTok creator, Selyna Brillare, posted a video on Aug. 11 addressing this popular phrase, saying that she had actually been the first one to use it back in 2020 and 2021. In the now-deleted video of her addressing the “demure” trend, she says, “I just feel like there have been many times where I’ve seen videos, and not just this one only, where it’s like, this is completely an idea of mine, and it’s just been regurgitated and rearranged.” By the looks of different commentary creators’ videos and users’ comments, most people are on Jools’s side of this whole thing, stating that Selyna isn’t being “very demure.” Ironic, no?
With the drama aside, “very mindful, very demure” is Gen-Z’s new favorite phrase: We’re using it to describe our makeup, fashion, and attitude, even if we’re not being totally serious. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you have the opportunity to use it, don’t hesitate to do so. How mindful and demure of you.