Think back to the absolute worst first date you ever had. Did you get stood up? Throw up on your date’s shoes? Whatever you experienced has nothing on what Zoe Kravitz has been through.
She recently went on The Tonight Show to promote her new show Big Little Lies, and during her appearance she told the most absurd dating story we’ve ever heard.
Zoe goes on a date with a nice, seemingly normal guy (aren’t they all, ladies?), but then the next day he calls her and asks her to watch his pet turtle, Gary, while he’s away. Like the perfect woman she is, she says yes, and her date drops off a ~30 pound African tortoise~ and a near-empty bag of dog food.
Flash forward to a month later, and this guy still hasn’t picked up his turtle. Eventually he calls her, but it’s not even to pick up his turtle—it’s to ask her on a second date. Zoe does the obvious thing and says yes, but when she goes over to his house, she notices it’s dirty and definitely not a suitable place for Gary to live. What does our queen do? She announces she has to go back home and feed her turtle.
Zoe and her roommates kept Gary for a summer, but now he lives at a turtle sanctuary and is loving his life.
Is her story weird AF or literally the best thing we’ve ever heard? Probably both. Only in LA do you date a guy and then end up with his turtle.