So here’s the thing: Colton Underwood is the next Bachelor, and the internet is pissed. And like, rightfully so. Literally no one wants to see Colton as the next Bachelor, just like no one wanted to see Arie as The Bachelor (still waiting for you, Peter!). Also, real talk: do we really need another straight white dude as The Bachelor? Can we get a Hayley Kiyoko, queer Bachelorette, please?! But no, here we are yet again with Colton, as if we haven’t seen enough of him already.
It’s not like I hate Colton. He sucked me in with his big, dramatic tears throughout Bachelor In Paradise. We bonded while we watched him freak out about whether or not he should be with Tia. But then that drama was over, and he and Tia were A Thing… but now Colton is The Bachelor? It’s just too much back and forth, and, tbh, I’m sick of it. And I’m DEF not the only one.Â
1. The internet just wants to know: WHY COLTON.
Colton as the bachelor is the ugliest thing I’ve heard all day. I’m pissed
— M (@lRlSPATTON) August 29, 2018
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2. When you want anyone but Colton to be The Bachelor.
It’s Colton. It really is Colton. #TheBachelor asks “who do you want to be the next bachelor?” The world says Jason! Blake! PETER!
The Bachelor: “heeeeere’s Colton!” pic.twitter.com/NJOVNdhzxY— Lynzi DeLuccia (@CBS6Lynzi) September 4, 2018
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3. When you hate that Colton is The Bachelor, but you’re def still gonna watch.
I’m kinda mad that Colton is the Bachelor bc I was hoping for Jason…but I’m not THAT mad. I’m still gunna invest myself too much into every episode and hate myself every week lol
— Becky (@_beckychecky) September 4, 2018
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4. LBR, the only answer is to be mad.
Like if you’re mad Colton is the bachelor.
RT if you’re mad Colton is the bachelor.— Maria Lind (@MariaLind3) September 4, 2018
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5. He’s just so indecisive.
i’m sorry but colton can’t even figure out if he still loves becca, loves tia, or wants to figure his shit out- how is he gonna be the BACHELOR
— princess bala (@cautumnx3) September 4, 2018
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6. When you’re just so confused.
#TheBachelor
Good Morning America: COLTON IS THE NEXT BACHELOR!!!Bachelor Nation: pic.twitter.com/iH5S6FRRxQ
— rachel Ⓥ (@VeganRachel) September 4, 2018
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7. WHY NOT GROCERY STORE JOE?
Last year: Give us Peter.
Bachelor franchise: Okay! How about some guy you dont even remember?
This year: Give us Wills, Grocery Joe, Blake, LITERALLY ANYONE BUT COLTON
Bachelor francise: #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/DX6VXjsoWT
— Megan Farber (@15mefarber) September 4, 2018
Am I going to watch The Bachelor? Um, yes, because I’m a sucker. But am I bitter af and def going to angry tweet? You betcha.