You studied for the SATs, stressed over your college applications, and waited anxiously for your notification letters to arrive. Now that you have finally chosen a college, it’s time to tell your friends and teachers. While this can be a very exciting time in your life, it can also be a little daunting. If you are going to a school that is far away or somewhat unknown in your hometown, your friends might not have the reaction you were hoping for, and may even be a little negative about your choice. But there is no reason to let their reactions bring you down! Below are the five most difficult college choices to explain and a little advice on how to turn those negative views into positive attributes.
The State School
“I remember once when my friends and I met a businessman and he asked us where we were going to college. My friends went down the line saying where we were going and his responses were something along the lines of, “Wow, great school!” He got to me and I proudly said University of Massachusetts – Amherst. He nodded and moved on to my next friend. I’ll never forget that experience.” – Caroline Bagby, UMass Amherst ‘11
State schools often get a reputation for being party schools, and sometimes even safety schools. But great nightlife is not the only aspect that makes many state schools appealing. They are often the most affordable choice (especially if you can get in-state tuition), and many state schools offer a vast number of opportunities, especially for motivated students who are eager to get involved with all that campus life has to offer. Caroline Bagby was accepted into UMass Amherst’s Honors College, and says this opportunity enabled her to experience every aspect of college life to its fullest. “I got to enjoy UMass’s amazing party life, as well as take classes with incredibly bright and driven students.” And while Caroline admits she was disappointed by the reaction of friends and even strangers who didn’t view her college as “elite enough”, she also says their opinions motivated her to prove them wrong. “People’s negative comments inspired me to get even more out of my UMass experience,” she says.
Director of Curriculum and Instruction of the college and career-planning program, Winning-STEP
And even if the school you are attending is big, it is still possible to enroll in small classes. “I go to a huge school with around 60,000 students, but I try to enroll in small, major-specific classes, which help me feel more connected to the teachers and material,” says Alana Peden, University of Texas – Austin ’11. Also, remember that a positive college experience is a well-rounded college experience, so don’t be afraid to express your excitement for the non-academic aspects of the school, like those legendary football games!
How to Handle This Hypothetical Conversation:
You: “I’m going to UMass Amherst.”
Friend: “Oh wow, you were clearly looking for that party school, weren’t you?”
You: “I’m excited to attend a school in a great city that has a ton of school spirit, but I was also impressed by the fact that they offer nearly 200 different majors. I think it will be the perfect place to discover what I’m passionate about and enjoy college life at the same time!”
The School No One’s Heard Of
“I got into the competitive state schools in California. Some members of my family were disappointed that I gave up those opportunities to go to an ‘unknown’ school.” – Megan, Washington University in St. Louis ’13
After doing months of research and maybe taking a campus tour, you can probably recite the Princeton Review statistics of your chosen school by heart. However, not everyone you share your news with will be as knowledgeable of your school as you are. And if you are attending a smaller school, or one that is far away, chances are that some of the people you tell will not have heard of it. But while receiving a baffled expression or shrug of the shoulders can be hurtful, Whitney says, “remember that just because you know about the college you are going to attend, doesn’t mean others do. Make a list of the best things about the college you will be attending to share with your family and friends.”
Keep in mind that a college’s level of familiarity ranges from city to city, and changes all the time. When I first decided to go to Emerson College three years ago, almost everyone I told in my hometown in California had never heard of it. Now, when I tell people where I attend school, most people nod their heads in genuine recognition, and I no longer feel the need to quickly add, “it’s a small school in Boston.” But while I am glad Emerson is becoming better known, I also miss the opportunity to enlighten my friends and teachers about what made Emerson a unique and perfect school for me. Despite being a very prestigious school, Megan’s family had never heard of the Washington University in St. Louis, but her enthusiastic attitude helped her family understand her decision. “Tell them why you love the school so much. Excitement is contagious!” she says.
How To Handle This Hypothetical Conversation:
You: “I’m going to Emerson College.”
Friend: “What? I’ve never heard of it…”
You: “It’s a small arts and communications school in Boston. I chose it because it’s one of the few smaller schools that offers an undergraduate major in Broadcast Journalism, which was really important to me. I also like the fact that it’s in an urban environment and located in America’s most popular college town!”
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The Elite School
“Almost all of my peers went to community college or the state school. Once I got my first acceptance letters to top-tier schools, my classmates thought I was being snotty and turned against me. With each successive acceptance letter, my friends became sparser and teachers made small jibes that I wouldn’t be able to do well.” Ajibike Lapite, Princeton University ‘14
If you are one of the few students in your class attending a top-tier or private university, some of your peers might assume you think you’re better than they are, or question why you would spend so much money on your education. Remember that your ability to get into a prestigious school is the result of a strong work ethic that you deserve to be proud of, and financial matters might involve your family, but they certainly don’t concern your friends and teachers, and many Ivy League schools are now offering some of the best financial aid packages in the country. The best thing to do is to simply ignore their negative comments and remind yourself that you picked the school for a reason and should proud of yourself for getting in and branching out.
Krista Evans was excited to leave her small–town, Alabama roots, to attend Simmons College in Boston, but was disappointed by the reactions of her classmates. “I got a lot of negative, unsupportive reactions from my peers when I told them I was going to a private college rather than a state school, because they saw it as me thinking I was better than them,” she says. Ajibike had a similar experience when she decided to go to Princeton University, but both girls are glad they remained true to themselves and refused to let unfair stereotypes affect their decision. “Be honest with why you chose that school and stand by your decision. You picked the college that fits you, not anyone else,” Krista says.
How to Handle This Hypothetical Conversation
You: “I’m going to Yale.”
Teacher: “Wow, someone is being a little ambitious. If you think this A.P. class was hard, you have no idea what you’re in for at a school like that.”
You: “I’m really proud of myself for even getting in and am ready to take on the challenge! I know it will be somewhat of a different world than I’m used to, but I also know that the school offers many resources and I will always be the same humble and hardworking student who isn’t afraid to ask for help!”
The Faraway School
“At first, people didn’t know where it was. When I then told them, they immediately assumed it wasn’t a good school because of the stereotypes about the region of the country in which it’s located. In actuality, it’s a top 20 university that just isn’t well-known by my peers.”- Courtney Rockwood, Vanderbilt University ’14
Leaving the nest is hard enough, but the situation can be even more difficult when it means you will be hours away from your friends and family. And if you are part of a community that tends to stay pretty close to home, you might encounter a few people who don’t understand your decision. But instead of letting a negative reaction bring you down, use it as an opportunity to find the positive. “If others focus on the fact that the college is far away, point out that you are going to get to experience a new part of the country and see places you’ve never seen before,” Whitney says.
When Kelsey decided to go to West Virginia University, her friends weren’t impressed with her choice. “Most people were surprised and didn’t think highly of the fact that I was leaving New York to go to West Virginia,” she says. But Kelsey also says that WVU’s differences are what made it so appealing in the first place. “I liked that it was far away and nothing like where I am from, and I love living in a college town.”
For most of us, going to college marks the first time we gain any substantial independence. And while you may be nervous about moving so far away, you can explain to your friends that you are trying to challenge yourself and broaden your horizons. Plus, you can always remind them that now they have a reason to travel somewhere new to visit you (only if you like them of course!).
How to Handle This Hypothetical Conversation
You: “I’m going to Colby College in Maine.”
Friend: “I don’t think I’ve heard of it. And Maine is so far away! Aren’t you nervous about being thousands of miles from home? I mean the first time you’ll probably only be able to come home a few times a year.”
You: “I am looking forward to getting the classic liberal arts education Colby is known for. I’ll miss everyone at home, but going to school in a new part of the country is such a unique experience! Technology has made it super easy to stay in touch and you’re welcome to come visit me any time!”
The Safety School
“I wasn’t excited to go to my school at first because it is in a rural area in the middle of the country and I wanted to go to a big city.”- Rebekah Meiser, Ohio University ‘11
Perhaps you didn’t get into to your top choice, or financial obstacles are preventing you from attending your dream college. However, while your college plans may not be what you anticipated, you can still be proud of yourself for getting into a school, and remain optimistic when telling your friends and teachers.
“Explain that while it may not be your first choice, it’s a great place to start and you can always apply to transfer after the first year if you find you don’t love it. But many students end up finding that their second choice or even ‘fall-back’ college is the perfect fit,” Whitney says. UC San Diego student, Lauren McKay, definitely agrees. “My experience at my safety school, UCSD, was more than I ever imagined it would be. Even though I wanted to go far away for school, I ended up having a much easier transition into the college experience, since I was only living 15 minutes from my home. I ended up doing well and was just accepted into several of my top-choice law schools! I really think everything happens for a reason and everyone ends up where they are meant to be,” she says. And Whitney points out that regardless of where you are going to school, you have many reasons to be proud of yourself. “With college applications so competitive, a lot of students aren’t making it into any of their choices, are waitlisted, or can’t even afford college. As a student who has been accepted and knows where you are going, you are one of the lucky ones!”
Bowdoin College student and co-author of the book Life’s Little College Admissions Insights, Cole Yaverbaum, firmly believes that there are a variety of “perfect schools” for each student. “My college was by no means my first choice, and now I honestly could not picture myself anywhere else. Whether it be chosen by them or for them, students should give their school a chance,” he says.
How to Handle This Hypothetical Conversation
You: “I’m going to Ohio University.”
Friend: “Didn’t you want to go to NYU?”
You: “Originally, NYU was my first choice, but I’ve really embraced my decision to go to Ohio University! College is all about expanding your horizons, and while I may be a city girl at heart, this will be a great opportunity to branch out a little and live in a part of the country that I’m unfamiliar with. After doing a little research, I realized that urban communities aren’t the only places with diversity. Students from over 100 different countries attend Ohio University, so I’m really looking forward to learning with people from all over the world.”
Regardless of whether your college of choice fits one, or even several of these stereotypes, remember to stay confident in yourself and your decision. While we may not be able to change other people’s opinion, we can certainly alter our own perspectives. So the next time someone asks you where you are going to school, remember to hold your chin up high and tell them your answer with pride and enthusiasm!
Sources
http://www.
http://www.utexas.edu/ugs/csa/
http://www.ohio.edu/
Lydia Whitney, Director of Curriculum and Instructor of Winning-STEP [http://www.winning-step.com/]
Cole Yaverbaum, Bowdoin College ’14 and co-author of Life’s Little College Admissions Insights [http://www.betterworldbooks.