Before you head off to college, you may be nervous, excited, or a mess and mix of emotions you’ve never felt before. You’re heading off to (what seems like) a completely different world from the one you experienced in high school. And most of the time, it is a little bit different. Or a lot. Whatever your college experience, you’re bound to learn more about yourself, your friends, and life in general than you ever thought possible.
Here 10 tips from Her Campus members to give you a heads up on what they wish they knew before starting college.
1. It may take time to make close friends.“You don’t immediately make strong bonds with people, and your ‘friends for life’ just don’t appear. It takes time and effort to actually get to know people. There’s a huge difference between someone you know and a real friend.” – Chantal Johnson, Campus Correspondent, James Madison University, Class of 2014
It’s especially important to remember this advice in the first few weeks, when you’re meeting lots of people. There’s no need to be best friends with the first five people you meet, but keep an open mind—some of them could potentially be friends for your next few years at school.
2. Friends from high school may not last forever.
“Friendships inevitably change and as high schoolers, we like to say that we’ll all be ‘friends forever,’ but sometimes, life just pulls us into different directions. [Knowing this] would have helped me prepare myself for the change of dynamics in those friendships and saved me a lot of hurt feelings.” – Alexandra Churchill, Contributing Writer, University of New Hampshire, Class of 2012
Alexandra tells future collegiettes ™ not to stress over the transition of high school friendships. “They don’t always last, people grow and change. Friends aren’t always forever, but that’s okay,” she says. If it seems like you and a high school friend are growing apart, that’s perfectly normal. Sometimes it even takes losing a friend to gain a new one!
3. Expand your group of friends to outside your hallway or floor.
“It’s okay to make friends outside of your dorm. Join clubs, attend events, try out for a sport. Don’t confine yourself to making friends with the people in your hallway, but don’t push them away either. I made the mistake of spending so much time out of my dorm that all of my hall-mates formed bonds that I wasn’t a part of.” – Chantal Johnson, Campus Correspondent, James Madison University, Class of 2014
When you first arrive on campus, keep the door to your room open (only during the day when you’re inside it!). That way people walking by or moving in can stop and say hi. It’s a great way to meet people within your first week or two. After that, work on expanding your group by participating in out-of-dorm activities, as Chantal suggests.
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4. Know the challenges of a long-distance relationship.
“I wish I’d known before college how much pressure [college] can put on long-distance relationships. I was aware and I’d heard stories, but to experience it was a completely different feeling.” – Jessica Salerno, Campus Correspondent, Ohio University, Class of 2013
Jessica recommends talking about what you expect out of the relationship, and how you expect each other to act toward other guys or girls while in school. “It’s so easy to get jealous over small things when you’re missing each other and don’t know when you’ll be together again,” she says. Miscommunication over these kinds of issues has the potential to turn into a fight, or multiple fights, over the phone. Jessica also suggests being accepting of changes and growth both in yourself and in your boyfriend. “You might not want in four months what you want now, so go in with an open mind and a strong heart,” she adds.
5. Know your status with the guy you’re hanging out with – be careful about jumping to conclusions.
“I wish I would have known that yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea as the saying goes, but not to fall for every single guy who looks my way. Even if a guy treats you like a princess the moment you meet him, you should not expect anything more than a hookup if he brings you home that night.” – Erica Avesian, Contributing Writer, University of Michigan, Class of 2013
Freshman year you’ll be exposed to a whole new crop of adorable guys. As Erica warns, however, not every one that smiles at you will be your new boyfriend. There’s no harm in meeting new people, or new guys, but be careful about falling for someone too quickly in the rush of all the college excitement.
6. Wait to buy your textbooks.
“You may think you need to buy every textbook required, and it may even be exciting going shopping for all of your books before the quarter, but wait to buy your books until after the first day of class. Then, you have the syllabus and know if you actually need them. Also, check Amazon – I bought a book this quarter that would have cost $30 from the university’s bookstore, and I got it for about $5.00, including shipping.” – Avalon Willows, Campus Correspondent, University of Washington, Class of 2013
Avalon recommends checking out textbook rentals at your own university bookstore, as well as Chegg.com. “They plant a tree for every book you rent,” she says. If it’s a textbook for your major, you may want to hold on to it for reference in future classes. As for books for electives, you may be able to sell to a classmate taking the class the next semester, or sell it back to Amazon. Half.com (part of Ebay) is also a good option.
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7. Make a call-schedule with Mom.
“My mom asked me point blank how much she should expect me to talk to her once I left. We worked out a plan that I would make time to call or Skype my parents every Sunday. Of course, I could call anytime I wanted or needed but that Sunday chat was the minimum. During my first few weeks of school, I was so thankful we had done this as I watched my friends ignore incessant calls and texts from home.” – Alaine Perconti, Contributing Writer, Miami University of Ohio, Class of 2013
Talking to your parents may seem like the last thing you want to do at school, but they can be a great source of comfort if you’re ever missing home. You can also be pretty sure that Mom and Dad will want to hear about your classes and new friends. You’ll feel better connected to each other if you don’t wait for Mom to call you every time. If it’s easier, take turns calling each other every other week at a time that fits your schedule.
8. Pick a major that will help you get a job.
“Research your career path ASAP. The earlier you know what you want to do, the better. Plan what you want to do throughout college to prepare for after-college-life.” Resham Parikh, Campus Correspondent, University of California – Irvine, Class of 2011
This can be a stressful thing to think about when you’re just arriving for freshman year. Career Development Centers or other similar programs at your school can help you start off on the right foot. If you’re not ready to talk about fixing up a resume yet, chatting with your academic advisor is a great place to start. He or she will help you decide your major and your classes based on your interests. If you’re not sure about a major, he or she can suggest taking a few different kinds of classes to help you narrow down your choices.
9. Begin networking early.
“Don’t wait until you are a senior looking for a job!” Resham Parikh, Campus Correspondent, University of California – Irvine, Class of 2011
The Career Development Center is a great place for this as well. They can help you get in touch with alumni for potential internships, or even just chat with you about what work would be like if you chose that path. Don’t forget that your peers will be graduating one day as well. Make connections, and form friendships with people in your major. Need a job after senior year? Try hitting up that upperclassman who always helped you with choosing classes or studying for finals.
10. College goes way too fast.
“Enjoy each and every minute of it, and don’t live in the future. I’m always stressing about jobs and potential career avenues, and I haven’t even graduated yet! It’s important to be prepared for life after college, but live in the moment and don’t take anything for granted. It will be over before you can believe it. It’s truly scary how easily time slips by!” – Laura Baugh, Campus Correspondent, Virginia Tech, Class of 2013
Above all, this is one of the most important tips. Focusing on school and academics is key, but remember to soak everything in and make the most of your four-year experience. Ask any upperclassman; they’ll tell you to enjoy it while it lasts!
Have another tip our pre-collegiettes™ should know? Add it in the comment section below!