All across the country, college girls are “literally almost dying” because they “can’t even.” Although this sentence probably wouldn’t make any logical sense to the older generation, these phrases are part of the average collegiette’s daily vocabulary. We’ve broken down some of the most commonly used college girl phrases to explain what we really mean when we say that we’re “so done.”
1. “I can’t even.”
What it means: This popular phrase can be used in a variety of situations to say, “I can’t even express how I’m feeling right now.” When there are no other words to convey how cute, funny or annoying something is, “I can’t even” (which forms a full sentence) is the appropriate response. Other forms include, “I literally cannot right now,” “I just can’t,” “OMG, stop” or the simple and efficient, “I can’t.”
Example: “Did you see that adorbs video of husky puppies playing in the snow? I can’t even.”
2. “I’m so done.”
What it means: When a girl says this phrase, you know that the situation has reached a seriousness above the “I can’t even” level. Stating that you’re “done” signifies that you have no patience or energy left to deal with something or someone. Other forms include, “I’m so over this” and “I’m 100 percent done,” which means that you have literally reached your limit.
Example: “This is the second time he’s ignored my text. I’m so done.”
3. “I died.”
What it means: Although a typical conversation between college girls may lead you to believe otherwise, the national death toll is not rapidly rising due to students “literally dying of laughter.” When you say that you died, it means that a situation was so funny or embarrassing that you couldn’t even handle it, and therefore it felt like dying. Other forms include, “I literally died,” “BRB dying” or the present tense, “I’m dying.”
Example: “You have to watch this hilarious Vine. I’m dying.”
4. “Literally”
What it means: “Literally” is used to exaggerate or increase the impact of what is being said. When a girl uses the word “literally,” she almost always means the exact opposite. Although she may say that she “literally died,” for example (see number three), it is meant in the figurative sense.
Example: “Losing my jacket last night was literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
5. “I’m crying.”
What it means: Much like the previous two phrases, this is an exaggeration. Chances are, if you text your friend to say that you’re crying, there are not actually tears streaming down your face. Instead, this phrase is meant to insinuate that something is so funny that you’re laughing hard enough to cry.
Example: “Look at what Dan drunk texted me last night. I’m crying.”
6. “Awkward…”
What it means: In the life of a typical college girl, almost anything can be described as being awkward. In most cases, “awkward” is the word used to describe a situation in which someone feels uncomfortable, socially awkward or caught off guard.
Example: “I made eye contact with my drunken hook-up in the dining hall today; it was so awkward.”
7. “Can you not?”
What it means: This phrase is used to express frustration about someone who is causing you annoyance. Essentially, it’s the abbreviated form of saying, “Can you stop what you’re doing?” and can be phrased as either a question or statement depending on the context. When these three words are uttered, they must be delivered with the maximum level of disgust and exasperation in order to achieve the full effect.
Example: “This guy kept hitting on me while I was trying to dance with my friends, and I was like, ‘Can you not?’”
8. “Just saying.”
What it means: “Just saying” is the college girl’s version of “no offense.” As long as a judgmental statement is followed by this phrase, no one can take offense to anything that was said. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism. Other forms include, “honestly” and, “let’s be honest.”
Example: “She could do way better than him, just saying.”
9. “What even.”
What it means: Why fully articulate what you’re feeling when you can shorten your sentences to three words or fewer? “What even” is a contraction of “What is even happening.” It is used in response to an absurd situation or when you’re extremely surprised or taken aback. Other forms include, “I don’t even” and “Like, what?”
Example: “I studied like crazy but I still got a C on my bio final. What even.”
10. “Seriously”
What it means: “Seriously” can be used in three ways. The first is used to express shock or disbelief in response to something someone else said, i.e., “Seriously?!” The second is used to qualify a statement as truthful, just in case the seriousness of your hangover wasn’t fully understood. Finally, “seriously” can be used as a form of agreement, sort of like, “same,” or, “I know, right?”
Example: “Seriously, guys, I really want a bagel right now.”
11. “Basically”
What it means: “Basically” is one of college girls’ favorite words to say because it can be used in almost any context. It’s often used as a way to explain something without actually explaining anything, sort of like a synonym for “more or less” or, “pretty much.”
Example: “Basically, he was like, ‘I don’t want anything serious,’ and so basically, I told him that we were done. So basically, I’m single now. Like, what?”
Although a lot of our college lingo is exaggerated (just saying), we just can’t live without our literallys and can’t evens. After all, how else are we supposed to describe our inability to deal with finals week or adorable baby animals?