At LGBTQ+ club, you’ll meet some characters as colorful as the pride rainbow itself. From those who love to unleash their controversial opinions to those who are there solely to land a date, with these characters around, there’s never a boring LGBTQ+ club meeting. Here are the 13 types of people we’ve run into at our colleges’ LGBTQ+ club meetings.
1. The PC Police
The PC Police is the girl who comes to LGBTQ+ club solely to educate those around her about politically correct LGBTQ+ terms and to scream, “THIS ISN’T A SAFE PLACE” every time someone voices even the slightest of controversial opinions. She doesn’t come to the meetings to make friends or because she or enjoys being social with other queer folks; she comes because it’s her duty as a social justice warrior to make the LGBTQ+ community as politically correct as humanly possible. From her squeaky-clean appearance to her ability to condescend without even trying, The PC Police is the person to avoid at club meetings.
2. The Mute One
The Mute One is the person who comes to every single meeting despite NEVER saying a single word at any of them. In fact, if you’ve ever had to interact with him in a group activity, chances are he stared at you for five minutes and breathed heavily. He’s the type of person who is probably nice once you get to know him… that is, if you can get past his bowl cut and inability to communicate with any being other than his pet tarantula.
3. The Loud and Proud One
From her rainbow-colored suspenders to her overwhelming enthusiasm for everything gay, The Loud and Proud One loves LGBTQ+ club way more than she probably should. She attends every meeting, raises her hand at every possible moment and loves referring to the club members as “one big ole family.” The favorite activities of The Loud and Proud One include watching LGBTQ+-related documentaries, talking about LGBTQ+-related documentaries and twirling a rainbow flag whenever possible.
4. The Aggressor
The Aggressor, The PC Police’s mortal enemy, is the person who comes to meetings solely to stir up controversy. The Aggressor loves to engage in conversations that he knows will upset people, like talking about how gays shouldn’t get married or how bisexuality isn’t really a thing. The Aggressor has very few friends in the club. In fact, he probably hasn’t bothered to learn a single person’s name. It’s unknown to most people why The Aggressor even comes to the meetings when all he does is yell at other people and create tension. Perhaps it’s because if he doesn’t yell at someone at least once a day, he’ll explode.
5. The Activist
The Activist is the person who comes to meetings with an agenda. She wants to change the world, and LGBTQ+ issues are just the tip of the iceberg. She walks into the room with a bandana on her head and a petition in her hand, ready to get the ball rolling. In fact, it’s impossible for her to attend any meeting without mentioning some political rally or bringing a petition for people to sign. Side note: This person generally wears A LOT of denim and/or thinks showering regularly is more of a suggestion than a mandatory thing.
6. The Frisky One
The Frisky One comes to LGBTQ+ meetings for one reason: to get laid. She’s known for her incredibly bad pick-up lines (“Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes”) and her effortless ability to make everyone in the room feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t care about LGBTQ+ issues or making friends; she cares solely about finding someone to date or hook up with. You can’t really blame her, though—LGBTQ+ club is kind of an all-gay buffet, after all.
7. The Serial Dater
The Serial Dater is a lot like The Frisky One, except she can actually land dates. In fact, she can’t go more than five minutes without being in a relationship. She loves to go dancing and has more dating applications than a 45-year-old cat lady has cats. If you meet her, she’ll most likely try to put the moves on you, but don’t be fooled; she’s not worth splitting cheesecake with. Besides, she’s probably already dated half the club already.
8. The Newbie
As the name suggests, The Newbie is the person who is coming to Pride Club for the first time. She can come for several reasons: She’s either really interested in joining an LGBTQ+ club, or she’s overeager and signed up for every club mailing list on campus. She LOVES telling you all about what clubs she was involved with in high school and how many parties she’s attended in the few weeks she’s been in college. Don’t waste too much time on her, though; she’ll most likely come to one or two meetings before realizing the club isn’t for her. And if she does come back, prepare yourself for how much she’ll talk about what it’s like to be a freshman.
9. The “What Did He Just Say?” One
Another enemy of the PC Police, this is the person who just doesn’t understand how the LGBTQ+ community works. He tends to unintentionally say and do horrible things without knowing any better, like referring to trans* people as “she-males” or “tr*nnies”. In fact, he most likely thinks “LGBTQ+” is a type of club sandwich. Avoid interacting with this person unless you want to end up being his walking LGBTQ+ dictionary.
10. The Balanced One
The Balanced One is the person who knows how to play both the political and social sides of the group. She makes good points without being condescending, and she knows how to keep things calm. Favorite activities of The Balanced One include redirecting tense conversations, telling mood-appropriate jokes and wishing that someone half as sane as her would come to the club meetings. She generally ends up being the favorite of the group because she’s someone you both respect and like.
11. The Talker
You know the person who can’t go more than 30 seconds without expressing his or her opinion? That’s the Talker. He can’t stand not being able to participate in a conversation, and he squirms whenever the moderator says, “Let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet.” His favorite activities include interjecting in conversation, starting every sentence with the word “I” and speaking for five minutes straight without having to take a breath. While he may make good points at first, you’ll be wishing he would shut up by the end of the meeting.
12. The Straight Friend
The Straight Friend is the person who was dragged to the meeting because she owes her gay friend a favor. She generally chooses to watch rather than participate, and if she’s asked for an opinion, she’ll most likely mumble a disingenuous response. She loves twirling her hair, counting down the minutes on the clock and trying to seem interested while being completely uninterested. You’ve got to give her credit for showing up, though!
13. The Ally
Unlike The Straight Friend, The Ally comes to LGBTQ+ club because he truly cares about the community. He attends every meeting and loves to offer up his own perspectives on the topic at hand. He’s quick to defend himself whenever someone questions his ability to comment on a subject, and he loves talking about what drove him to become involved with the LGBTQ+ community (in most cases, his best friend is gay or he has a gay family member). He may not be part of the LGBTQ+ community, but you can be sure he’ll bring the cookies to the Pride Potluck!
With a group of people as colorful as the rainbow, you can guarantee that LGBTQ+ meetings wouldn’t be the same without them!