33 Things You Wish You Could Say to Your Roommates

Roommates: We love them (…really, it’s weird how much we love them), and we most definitely can’t live without them. They have seen us put on our ‘eating pants’ & eat a whole pizza by ourselves, been there when we ugly cried over something or someone totally irrelevant, and, more times than we’d like to admit, had a huge glass of wine waiting for us after we’ve had a rough day. We’d like to say that we can tell them ANYTHING, but, sometimes, (we hate to admit it) there are things we hold back for the sake of everyone…

Read below for a list of the things we all WISH we could say to our roommates, no matter how much we love them.

1. “It’s been like four days, I think it’s time you took a shower…”

2. “Actually, I think maybe I need a shower, too…”

3. “You know what, we ALL need to shower.”

4. “Maybe it’s time we get our lives together?!”

5. “…but please don’t get your life together without me, because then I’ll have to drink and make questionable decisions by myself…”

6. “You don’t remember what you did last night, and I told you I didn’t remember either, but I do remember I just don’t want to ruin your day.”

7. “Because you’re my soulmate and I have your back!”

8. “So… you BETTER have mine too…”

9. “Seriously –– when you bring up embarrassing things I did last night, I want to crawl in a ball and die (so !!!please!!!, just don’t tell me).”

10. “PLEASE stop leaving your gross dishes in the sink, it’s making me sick!”

11. “Really, though –– we have a dishwasher for a reason.”

12. “When a trash bag is full, I think that’s normally a sign that it needs to be replaced.”

13. “Honestly, your leftover Chipotle is stinking up the whole place!”

14. “I said I didn’t mind sharing my snacks with you, but now they’re almost gone and I’m really sad.”

15. “But I still want you to share your food with me sometimes…”

16. “I love you, but right now can you please leave my room, I want to be alone…”

17. “Wait!! Come back! I need love and affection!”

18. “Yes I said you can borrow my shirt, but that doesn’t give you free range to my entire wardrobe without asking…”

19. “…because I know you want to look like Beyonce tonight, and I TOTALLY want you to too, but I only wore that one time and it wasn’t even a good night.”

20. “You can have friends who don’t live here, and I won’t be jealous or anything….”

21. “…but just so you know, I’m your roomie so I automatically trump everyone else!!!”

22. “I think you need to clean your bathroom.”

23. “Sometimes I need to Netflix & chill by myself.”

24. “I’m about to eat our entire refrigerator and pantry, then I’m probably going to order a pizza. Sooooo… yeah, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t judge me.”

25. “Better yet, you should order one too! Let’s do some damage.”

26. “Your hummus is taking up space on my side of the fridge.”

27. “I know you’re having a rough day and I’m sorry to hear that, but you’re killing the vibes of the whole apartment…”

28. “…so, let’s go get some pizza and wine, and CHEER THE HECK UP!!!”

29. “Please stop leaving lights on, because I’m really broke and can’t afford the high utilities bill.”

30. “Dude, it’s Monday night –– do you really have to go out and drink?”

31. “Hey!! It’s Monday but I’m not having a good day, so please come drink with me!” (It goes both ways, okay?)

32. “I don’t know how you put up with me every day, but thanks for loving me even when i’m a total hot mess.”

33. “If all else fails, let’s just marry each other?”

No matter what we want to say (or scream) at our roomies on occasion, let’s be real –– we’d be lost without them. We love them more than life, and even though sometimes we don’t know how we put up with their sh*t, we aren’t really sure how they put up with ours either… that’s love, right?

Love you, roomies!

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