Are you a smart and savvy pre-collegiette looking for answers to some of your most personal questions about college? You know, the ones about boys, classes, roommates and parties that your school’s guidance office can’t help you with? Jen is here to answer those questions! Whatever your concern, she’ll do her best to help you so you can make sure you don’t just survive college, but rock it!
I can’t drink alcohol or do drugs because of medical reasons. How do I go to parties and hang out without sounding like goody two-shoes? –Tara
Tara,
I go to a private Christian school in rural Pennsylvania (read: not a party school at all), so I might not be the best person to answer your question.
On the other hand, I still know what that pressure is like based on other experiences I’ve had. Nobody wants to be that person who seems too good, innocent and inexperienced to drink or do drugs at a party where everyone else seems to be in no rush to turn down. This is because the social expectation is often for everyone to join in with whatever the behavior is in order to look cool and fit in.
That said, let me tell you something that’s super important to remember: you don’t need those worldly pleasures to have a good time. I’ve been to plenty of parties where I’m not the only one skipping the drink, and I still have a great time because I’m in good company and I’m not working on homework. True friends will respect you if you turn down a drink or don’t want to light up; it shows you’re respecting yourself by not giving in to the pressure, and self-respect is always appealing to others.
Since you said you can’t drink or do drugs because of medical reasons, I’d simply allow that to be your valid excuse. Some people just won’t let up if you keep saying no to a drink, but if you’re physically unable to accept it, you need to be confident in your decision and be honest. Just politely turn it away at first, and then if the pressure and repeated invitations get to be too much, you can just say that you have a medical condition that prevents you from drinking. This won’t make you seem like a goody two-shoes, since people will (hopefully) understand the fact that you need to protect yourself.
You could even come up with your own unique answer to share with people if they ask you to drink and you know you can’t. Maybe you can say that you have a big exam to study for or you have to go to work the next day. Another idea is to simply change the subject with whoever is offering you a drink. Start talking about something else, or ask the person a question about himself or herself, since most people enjoy talking about themselves!
When all else fails, just hold the drink or whatever it is you’re offered, and don’t drink or smoke it. If people see that you already have something, they usually lay off since they think you’re covered. You can also get the heck out of there if you find that you’re being shunned for not joining in, or if being around all of that partying makes you uncomfortable. Anyone who gives you issues about saying no isn’t worth your time anyways, and there are plenty of other friends you can make in college who won’t ever pressure you!
Whatever happens, stay safe and always bring reliable friends with you who can watch your back!