Every day, James Madison University junior Lauren Granger comes home to her cozy four-bedroom apartment. She checks her Facebook, listens to her favorite band âShe and Him,â and heats up some leftover lasagna her mom sent from home. As her roommates walk in the door, she greets themâSarah, Stephanie, andâŠGlen. Yes, Glen. Grangerâs fourth roommate is a guy.
An increasing number of college apartments are no longer purely estrogen, or vice versa. Many have decided to move in with students of the opposite sex, claiming less drama and a (closer to) stress-free living environment.
âItâs a nice balance of energies,â says Granger of her living arrangement. âWhat makes it work really well is how laid back Glen is.â
Granger and her friend Stephanie met Glen their freshman year and instantly hit it off. The trio decided to live together, and they moved into Sarahâs apartment because she had three open bedrooms.
The girlsâand guyâstarted living together this past August. Unfortunately for Glen, Stephanie had already decorated the bathroom they sharedâŠDisney Princess themed.
âWe might get him a Disney Prince towel!â Granger joked.
Besides the pictures of Ariel and Jasmine staring at Glen while he showers, Granger insists the apartment is gender-neutral. âWe try not to make anything too girly,â she says.
The only complaint Granger has about living with Glen is his lack of dishwashing skills. However, living with her brother at home did prepare her for thatâhe was slacking in the same department. And unfortunately, as we all know, an XX chromosome is no guarantee of domestic skills anyway.
What Would Your Significant Other Have to Say?
Junior Beth Lucasâs boyfriend lives with another guy and two girls. When asked if she ever feels jealous or threatened, Lucas says she doesnât mind the living situation at all.
âI trust all of them and theyâve never given me reason to care. Weâve all been friends for so long, so itâs not a big deal,â she says.
In fact, Lucas believes it was moving in with girls that got her boyfriend, Matt, to start cleaning up.
âWhen Matt lived with all guys it was disgusting,â she says, âI didnât even want to go over there.â
Now, Lucas says he is not only a lot cleaner, but a lot more relaxed.
âHeâs happier, and more at ease,â she says.
Both Granger and one of her other female roommates are in relationships. âIt was never an issue for me,â she says. âMy roommateâs boyfriend was a little unsure about it at first, but then he realized he had no need to be.â
âŠAnd Your Parents?? Our parents might expect us to live with people of the same gender, but how do they react when they realize thatâs not always the case?
âMy parents didnât care at all,â says Granger. âThey might even prefer it because they think Iâm safer.â
âMy parents donât mind,â says James Nagengast, a James Madison student living with one other guy and one girl. âThis is actually my third time sharing an apartment with girls.â
Nagengastâs roommate, Emma, however, has yet to tell her father.
âHeâd freak out,â Nagengast says, âHeâs an army general!â
ButâŠWhy? Itâs no surprise that Kathryn Williams, author of the book Roomies: Sharing Your Home with Friends, Strangers, and Total Freaks, has lived with a guy before. In fact, sheâs currently living with her 16th roommate.
Williams thinks college students might want to live with the opposite sex because it can help them grow. âYou can learn a lot about another gender by living with them,â she says. âMembers of the opposite sex are a puzzle and now you can see how they tick.â
According to Williams, whether or not a co-ed apartment is a healthy environment depends on your age. âItâs not the same for everyone,â she says. âAs long as youâre at an age where you can successfully set boundaries and youâve overcome your freshman-year insecurities, it can work.â
Williams says the difference between living with guys and girls, is that guys are a lot better at addressing issues.
âGirls tend to be more passive-aggressive,â she says. âHe could read me better. I learned to say âCan you please take out the trash?â instead of pretending nothing bothered me.â
Thereâs Boys. Thereâs Girls. Thereâs Sexual Chemistry, Right?
In the clichĂ© co-ed apartments, guys and girls are in relationships. However, we all know members of the opposite sex that we arenât attracted to. We could live with them and still not be attracted to them.
Williams believes itâs healthy for guys to live with a girl thatâs not his sister, mother, girlfriend, or wife.
âItâs good for guys to live with girls in a non-relationship setting so they can learn how to be equal in the household and not be taken care of all the time,â she says.
Nagengast believes you have to be cordial to keep things from getting complicated. âIt works because we respect each other.â Nagengast says. âYou have to be friends and never, ever, cross that line.â
Nagengast suggests that even if your female roommate is attractive, you need to forget about it.
âYou donât want that awkwardness,â he says. âYou can hook-up with your roommateâs friendsâwhich is pretty coolâbut never her.â
If that awkward hook-up happens, Williams suggests you donât ignore it. First of all, decide what it meant. Just a one-night stand? Discuss it.
âIt can be delicate, but it needs to be acknowledged that it wonât happen again.â
Something more serious? Be aware of what youâre getting yourself into.
âIf you decide to embark on a relationship, you need to take control of the pace. Living together can make things get serious fast,â she says.
The Best of Both Worlds
All co-ed roomies interviewed agree that being roommates with someone of the opposite sex adds a new dimension to their living space.
Granger goes to Glen for advice before she would go to her female roommates. âHe has a different take on relationships,â she says, âHeâs less emotional and more mellow.â
Williams says she and her male roommate would confide in one another, also.
âItâs a lot different than talking with a guy,â says Nagengast. âShe brings a different perspective.â
When asked if they would live co-ed again, all the students interviewed said yes. âItâs different, but itâs healthy and diverse,â says Nagengast. âIt brings out all of our best aspects.â
Kathryn Williamsâs book âRoomies: Sharing Your Home with Friends, Strangers, and Total Freaksâ can be found at Amazon.com and most college book stores.
Sources:
Lauren Granger, student at James Madison University
James Nagengast, student at James Madison University
Beth Lucas, student at James Madison University
Kathryn Williams, author of Roomies: Sharing Your Home with Friends, Strangers, and Total Freaks