It’s that glorious time again, the time that rolls around only once every four years: the FIFA World Cup. For the sporty collegiette, the international soccer tournament is a fantastic display of athletic prowess and an opportunity to show America exactly what they’re missing out on by not getting behind the world’s favorite game. For the less athletically inclined collegiettes, the World Cup is still an exciting time. Why, you ask? Because hundreds of the world’s most talented and fit men convene to bless the world with their faces, and if they’re lucky enough to score (and gracious enough to remove their shirts), their killer bods. We now present you with the 11 hottest players of the World Cup, our “dream team,” if you will, and concrete evidence that soccer deserves its reputation as “the beautiful game.”
1. Olivier Giroud
Team: France
Position: Forward
Why were we not made aware of this man’s existence until now? Those piercing baby blues, that masculine jawline, that perfectly-coiffed hair! And, he speaks French. All we can say is, ooh la la.
2. Orestis Karnezis
Team: Greece
Position: Goalkeeper
There’s just something about Greek men. Maybe it was our crush on Kostas from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in our formative years that started it all, but these Mediterranean men have the whole dark-and-brooding thing going on, and we don’t hate it. Plus, if you stare into Orestis’s eyes long enough, you might just find the path to world peace.
3. Jordan Henderson
Team: England
Position: Midfielder
Making a solid case for blonds, this studly midfielder looks like that hot guy in the business suit whom you always run into at Starbucks. We know he’s from England, but there’s something all-American about Jordan that we can’t help but love.
4. Cristiano Ronaldo
Team: Portugal
Position: Forward
What kind of list would this be if we left off the soccer god himself? There’s a reason Cristiano is one of the most beloved players in the world (at least by the ladies), and one look at that fabulous fauxhawk and self-assured smile will tell you why. Unfortunately for us, he’s been dating the stunning Irina Shayk since 2010. Hold on tight, girl.
5. Aleksandr Kerzhakov
Team: Russia
Position: Forward
We’re suckers for a good side smile, and Aleksandr’s got it down. Plus, there’s something about those eyes that makes us want to take him home to Mom. Now, let us also take a moment to notice and admire the way his jersey hugs his pecs. You’re welcome.
6. Jorge Sammir Cruz Campos
Team: Croatia
Position: Midfielder
Those. Lips. We could stare at them all day long. Those lips and those chocolate-brown eyes are basically the cure to any bad day. Plus, the way Sammir’s head is tipped ever so slightly to the side makes it look like he’s asking us about our day and really listening to all of the horrible things that happened on the subway. We can just picture him saying, “I’m sorry, babe. Can I give you a back rub?”
7. Mensur Mujdža
Team: Bosnia and Herzegovina
Position: Defender
Pay attention, men: this is how to rock barely there facial hair. Having an absolutely smoldering gaze doesn’t hurt either. Is this what all men in Bosnia and Herzegovina look like? If so, book us a one-way ticket.
8. Gerard Piqué
Team: Spain
Position: Defender
What can we say, our girl Shakira knows how to pick ‘em. Gerard has that ultra-sexy dark-hair-and-blue-eyes thing going on, and he’s 6’4″, which certainly doesn’t hurt (although we do have some questions, seeing as Shakira is only 5’2″). Side note: it was unfairly difficult to pick just one member of the Spanish national team for this list, so shout-out to Iker Casillas, Sergio Ramos, Xabi Alonso and David Villa.
9. Marcelo Vieira da Silva Júnior
Team: Brazil
Position: Defender
That hair! That smile! We dare you to not fall in love with Marcelo. Everything about him makes us just want to squeeze him and then ride around Brazil on a tandem bicycle with him while he shows us all of his favorite beaches. Oh, and he also dedicates every goal he scores to his wife and his grandfather, who paid for him to be able to continue playing football in Brazil. Yup.
10. Fabian Schär
Team: Switzerland
Position: Defender
When you look like you could be one of the Franco brothers (seriously), being a star athlete is really just the icing on the cake. The Swiss soccer stud is only 22 years old, making us feel significantly less accomplished but also explaining that adorably mischievous grin.
11. Claudio Marchisio
Team: Italy
Position: Midfielder
It cannot possibly be a coincidence that Italy’s jerseys appear to be custom-made to bring out the gorgeous blue of Claudio’s eyes. They’re the same color we imagine the sky would be if we were lying with Claudio in the grass outside the Colosseum, feeding each other spaghetti… wait, what?