Well, there go 10+ minutes of our lives that we’ll never get back. Not that we don’t think Kanye deserved the Video Vanguard Award at this year’s VMAs—but when we’re still struggling to decipher exactly what was said during that very lengthy acceptance speech, we’re starting to really appreciate those quick thank yous.
The musical genius started off humbly, which had us wondering what exactly he was on… something he later revealed. He acknowledged that he (maybe) would have done something differently back in 2009 when he grabbed the mic from Taylor Swift to protest her win. It got weird from there, though. Here are 9 things Kanye said in his speech at the VMAs—and what we think he actually meant.
1. “Bro. Brooooo.”
“I don’t really know what to say right now.”
2. “And I think, if I had to do it all again. What would I have done? Would I have worn a leather shirt? Would I have drank a half a bottle of Hennessey and gave the rest of it to the audience? I know y’all drank that bottle too.”
“I definitely made the right call in wearing a leather shirt.”
3. “Justin, I ain’t trying to put you on blast, but I saw that man in tears, bro, and I was thinking like, he deserved to win album of the year.”
“Now that Taylor and I have reconciled our differences, it’s on to the next.”
4. “I’m not no politician, bro.”
“LOL JK they have no idea what’s coming.”
5. “I still don’t understand award shows. I don’t understand how they get five people who work their entire life… To come, stand on the carpet, and for the first time in their life be judged on the chopping block, and have the opportunity to be considered a loser.”
“I still think Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.”
6. “Y’all might be thinking right now, I wonder, did he smoke something before he came out here? The answer is: yes. I rolled up a little somethin’.”
“I’m making NO sense right now, so I need an excuse for this ASAP.”
7. “Just worry how you feel at the time, man. Just worry about how you feel and don’t never… you know what I’m saying?”
[Editor’s note: We don’t really know what he’s saying, so…]
8. “We not gonna control our kids with brands. We not gonna teach low self-esteem and hate to our kids. We gonna teach our kids that they can be something. We gonna teach our kids that they can stand up for themselves.”
“I should really be getting the award for ‘Best Parent.'”
9. “And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment… I have decided in 2020 to run for president.”
“BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THIS IS WHAT THIS ENTIRE SPEECH WAS ABOUT.”