You and your best friend have been inseparable since the first day you met. You almost feel like sisters, but sometimes you feel uncomfortable sharing your deepest darkest secrets or embarrassing moments with them. However, if you can’t tell your best friend about that one time in Taco Bell, what’s the point of having them around?
A best friend should be someone you completely confide in and trust with all your heart. That means sharing awkward memories and facts about yourself others may not know. It’s about calling them and telling them how horrible your day was, and their first response is to bring you cookies and a card. A best friend is the best thing a girl can have by her side. If you can’t tell them these things, then you need to go on Bumble BFF and find yourself a new best bud.
1. Relationships
Everyone has rocky moments in their relationships. It’s super important to have someone to talk to when moments get rough. You don’t want someone pressuring you to break up with your SO just because you fought about who ate the last fry. Your BFF should tell you when you’re in the wrong and if you’re not, they should tell you how to fix a difficult situation. Relationship advice from your BFF is important. Listening to what they have to say about your relationship may give you a whole new perspective.
Rachna Shah, a freshman at Dartmouth University, has a friend with a unique long-distance relationship with her SO, and while others critique her friend’s relationship, Rachna disapproves of the negativity. “One of my best friends has been dating a guy for almost two years exclusively via social media and texting. They’ve met once—two years ago—and never once since then,” she says. “Whenever she brings up the situation to her other friends, they often diminish the value of her relationship. Best friends take each other seriously.”
Best friends should always be there to support you, especially when you’re in hard situations like a long-distance relationship. Friends should help validate your feelings instead of bringing you down and discouraging you from a potentially great, loving relationship.
Related: 4 Pieces of Dating Advice from the Single Friend
2. Your goals
If you’ve chosen your best friend correctly, you should expect them to stick around for decades to come. That includes major career or life milestones. Your BFF should know your life goals and be there for you every step of the way, giving you the motivation you need to keep being your badass self.
Nicole Betancourt, a senior at Florida International University, says, “I share my goals with my best friend because they won’t judge me; instead, they’ll teach me their honest opinion because they care about me and what’s best for me. Best friends are there to keep you grounded and cheer you on!” A friend who’ll always be honest is important, but make sure their honesty is genuine before you follow their advice on things that may affect your future.
WARNING: If you have a friend telling you that you work too hard and care too much, they’re not going to stick around for very long. Best friends should pick up right where they left off if the other person has become too busy with work or life for a while. A true friend will let go of their selfishness and wish you the best when you have something good going for you.
3. People you don’t like
99.9 percent of friendships begin with a mutual hate for someone. Having a BFF means being able to talk smack about other people you guys don’t like. Sure, it may seem like gossip, but if your BFF talks to someone you don’t like, how do you think that’ll end?
Rebecca Charur, a senior at Florida International University, says, “If I don’t like someone or if someone just rubs me the wrong way, my best friend is the first to know,” she says. “May sound kind of cynical, but you always need that person who will back you up and hate on the person you seriously dislike.”
If the person you don’t like feels comfortable telling your BFF about all these horrible things or rumors about you, it should immediately bring up a red flag. Why was your friend talking to that person to begin with? Loyalty in these situations will prove who is really there for you when others try to bring you down. Your BFF’s immediate reaction should be to defend you instead of helping spread negative things about you through people you didn’t even like in the first place.
4. Drama
There’s nothing like spilling your guts after a rough day over a glass of wine with your BFF. You feel almost like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders as you rant about what’s been bothering you and what’s been bringing you down. Drama can include the passive-aggressive spat you had with your co-worker this morning, or the spilt coffee on your favorite white top your co-worker ‘accidentally’ threw at you after said spat.
Rachna remembers a friend who was there during some tough times. “Last year, I was having a lot of difficulties with balancing my school work, college applications and maintaining relationships with my family and friends,” she recalls. “I was considering staying in one night rather than going to a party, and my best friend told me that the people who matter to me won’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter, which was really helpful advice.”
As your best friend, their response should be to immediately try to make you feel better—which often leads to midnight baking sessions and binge-watching The Office.
Related: 15 Signs You’re Low-Key Obsessed With Your Best Friend
5. Strange obsessions
Your relationship with your BFF isn’t legit until you’ve had the “cartoon crush” talk (for the record, Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert from Tangled wins—every time). If you haven’t had a Harry Potter or Star Wars movie marathon together, are you even really friends? Strange obsessions connect friendships on a deep level. Things in common always strengthen a bond, and if you guys started a new obsession together, it’s even better. Just as long as you didn’t watch the new episode without them!
Whether you’ve known your bestie since you were in diapers, or only for a couple of years, one thing will always ring true: they’ll be there for you no matter what. If you look back on this list and can’t seem to find yourself talking to them about these things, you probably should. Talking about something other than brunch will strengthen a friendship and bring it to the next level.