Spring has sprung, finals are almost behind you for good, and you’re gearing up to wear that itchy polyester graduation gown and walk across the stage to receive your diploma. You’re about to hit one of life’s major milestones: graduating college.
But what happens after that? For those of you who don’t have a permanent job or internship lined up right away — or even for some of you who do — it might mean you’re moving back home after college. The question is, how can you stay sane when facing financial issues, family drama, anxiety about the future, and all the potential pitfalls of returning home after school? Lucky for you, I’m here to show you how, and you just might find that it’s not as bad as it sounds. Here are some pros and cons of moving back home after college and how to set boundaries with your folks.
Talk about Rent with your folks before moving back in.
One of the major benefits of moving back home after college is that unlike living in a dorm or an apartment, staying in your childhood bedroom is (likely) free of charge! You might want to take down those embarrassing One Direction posters, but otherwise, living at home comes with this notable, wallet-friendly perk. Before moving back home with your folks, make sure to discuss rent expectations — and if your parents don’t expect you to pay rent, make sure to at least pitch in and help with chores and other household duties.
Christina graduated from Merrimack College in 2009 and decided to move back home for a while. She appreciated not having to pay rent and was able to take advantage of her time at home to save for the future.“If your parents are accommodating, and you’re fortunate enough to not have to pay rent, then financially you are going to be in a great position when you do move out on your own,” Christina tells Her Campus. “The money you save now will be a great thing to have when you choose to either rent or buy in the long run.”
Now, just because you are living rent-free doesn’t mean your hard-earned money can now go to unlimited shopping sprees and all the happy hour drinks you want. Take advantage of this opportunity to save your money so that once you decide to fly out of the nest, you’ll have something set aside to build your own. For example, set a certain amount to put in your savings account per month, depending on how much you’re making. It’ll add up fast!
have an open dialogue about privacy.
Remember your high school days, when Mom and Dad wanted to know where you were going, who you were going with, what you were doing, and when you’d be back? Now you’re in your early 20s, and they still want to know all of that information. Just because you have a car (if you’re lucky) and a college degree doesn’t mean they’re any less curious about your life and who’s in it.
It can be challenging to keep your cool while maintaining the hard-won independence you found while away at school, and throwing a good old-fashioned teenage tantrum can become oh-so-tempting. “Unfortunately, moving home also means having to answer to my parents again,” Maddy, who recently graduated from Mount Holyoke College and is moving home for a year, tells Her Campus. “I’m going to lose a lot of privacy.”
Resist the urge to lash out at your parents, who are not only likely giving you a free place to stay, but are also coming from a place of parental concern, not nosiness. Your parents will probably be as curious as ever about your dating and social life, and it likely won’t be as acceptable to stumble in at three o’clock in the morning like you did during college. Humor them by giving them basic information when you go out, and keep your cell phone on you. You may be an adult and a college graduate, but they are still your parents and you’re under their roof again, which means that to a certain extent, you have to play by their rules.
Also, make sure to not only set boundaries concerning your privacy, but to also set aside time to hang out with your parents; at the end of the day, they just want to be a part of your life, too.
Don’t be afraid to ask your parents for help — For some things.
One of the major benefits of not rushing into a job or internship right after graduation is that if you’re like millions of other college women and don’t know exactly what you want to do with your freshly minted college education yet, you’ll have plenty of time to figure it out in the comfort of your own home.
With the Gen Z unemployment rate resting at around 9 percent, according to the Newport Institute, Maddy is taking the time she needs to plan her next step. “I’m moving home after college because I decided to change my career path pretty recently, and as a result, I don’t expect to be making enough money to support myself anytime soon. Given the state of the economy and my recent change of interest, I’m probably going to need to intern or volunteer for a while before I find a real, grown-up, paying job in my field,” Maddy tells Her Campus.
If you’re having trouble figuring out your next steps, don’t be afraid to ask your parents for their input. After all, they were likely in your same shoes at some point and can maybe offer some advice, whether it be finance-related or career-related. However, if your parents are constantly badgering you about your job search, don’t be afraid to set another boundary with them while you figure things out. Remember, everyone moves at a different pace, and things will all work out in the end!
Don’t let your parents do everything for you.
Keep in mind that you’re officially a college-educated adult now, and you know better than to fall back on teenage habits. Your parents are nice enough to let you move home after school and provide for you, so show them your appreciation by being your responsible, fabulous self. With any luck you learned how to master microwave meals, at least, so don’t rely on Mom and Dad to wait on you.
“I think it’s easy for you to revert into old habits if you’re not careful, like hoping Mom will do the laundry or not stocking up what you want to eat in the fridge,” Christina says.
You can fend for yourself now, and if nothing else they will be impressed by your independence and self-reliance, even while living under their roof. Clean up after yourself, do your own laundry, and make your own meals. If you’re clueless in the kitchen, ask your parents! They’ll probably be pleased by your initiative and it’ll make for a great bonding moment.
“Moving home is great because it means I have free food, free laundry, a warm bed to sleep in, and all the other perks of living with Mom and Dad,” Maddy says.
At the end of the day, your parents just want what’s best for you, and it’s totally okay (and normal!) to set boundaries with them. If anything, your parents will likely appreciate your honesty — and maybe they even have some boundaries they want to set with you, too. Best of luck, and remember to keep a positive mind!