It’s senior year and you’re on top of the school, at the top of your game, surrounded by an amazing crew to rival S Club 7, and girlfriend, you have got it goin’ on.
Except on the inside, you’re totally freaking out at the thought of leaving it all behind. You – easy, breezy, cool-as-a-cucumber you – are suddenly losing it. You keep blurting out wild questions at inappropriate moments like: “What if my dog forgets my scent?!” or “What if my mom turns my room into a craft closet and there’s nowhere for me to sleep and I have to stay at my dorm over Christmas?!”
Your anxiety is understandable, but it’s also irrational. So chill out, my friend. While everyone else is only giving you advice on what to know going forward, Her Campus has got you covered on how to manage leaving the things you know so well behind.
College Anxiety #1: “I’m not ready to live on my own yet.”
Throughout high school, most of your energy is devoted to getting out from under your parents’ dominion. In the immortal words of Kelly Clarkson, you’re Miss Independent and Miss Self-sufficient; you don’t need supervision, you don’t need permission, and you most definitely do not need a curfew of (they cannot be serious) 1 AM. So, why are you suddenly feeling so weird about being independent for real?
Nicole, a sophomore at McGill University, understands this tricky transition. “Other than summer camp, I’d never spent much time away from home before leaving for college. And even at camp, there were always counselors keeping an eye on you. It’s weird not having someone keep track of you and your whereabouts anymore.”
Furthermore, beyond the matter of parental supervision, living on your own means encountering a host of situations you may never have had to deal with before. Does a black-and-white striped sweater go in with your dark or light laundry? How do you sew a brass button back onto your favorite navy blazer? These questions may not seem like a big deal, but they can leave a girl feeling a little helpless if enough of them rack up. In the words of Alli, a sophomore at Concordia University, “I didn’t actually know that potatoes went bad – until a whole bag of potatoes went bad.”
Keep in mind that the practical skills that go along with living on your own are ones that you acquire with time. No one perfects the art of laundry or cooking the first time around. In fact, my dad still doesn’t understand why my jeans can’t be put in the dryer (hello, they’ll come out Snooki-sized).
If you’re still worried about making it out there on your own, fight the feeling with preparation. Make a list of domestic basics to learn before heading off for school from how to boil water to how to brew coffee to how to properly make a bed. Your parents (or YouTube) can help you with the learning curve!
As for leaving your mom and dad at the sliding minivan doors, embrace it as a rite of passage that all collegiettes must go through eventually. Cherish the time you have left living under the same roof as your parents now, and remember that home doesn’t go away when you do. It’s always around to come back to.
College Anxiety #2: “I’ve been friends with the same kids since Kindergarten. I hardly remember how to make new ones.”
When you’re a kid, making friends kind of just happens. You bond over building blocks and birthday parties. There isn’t much strategy to it. You just say, “Wanna play tag?” and in an instant, you’ve found your new BFF. If you’ve been at school with the same people from elementary school to junior high, junior high to high school, you may be feeling anxious about leaving the people you’ve known since forever.
Jade Henderson, a counselor at Kids Help Phone, an anonymous and confidential phone counseling service for anyone 20 and under, says anxiety about making new friends is a common feeling among pre-collegiettes. “This is a common experience, especially for girls who come from small towns who have been together since childhood and have gotten to know each other like family. It can be scary to think that you have to make an entirely new set of friends at this stage of your life.”
Nicole, a freshman at Wake Forest University, agrees. “My biggest anxiety was that because I was at a school where I knew absolutely nobody, I wouldn’t make any friends. Luckily, most people are in the same boat and are looking to make friends. After the first month of school I found my new best friends right down the hall.”
Everyone starts at square one socially when coming into college. Instead of thinking of making new friends as an obstacle, think of it as a fresh start, and something to look forward to! And hey, if that doesn’t work out, you can always start a reality show and audition new BFF candidates. (Paris Hilton did it!)
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College Anxiety #3: “I love my extracurriculars. I don’t want to just quit everything.”
By the time you’ve spent over a dozen years in school, amassing achievements and collecting extracurriculars like they’re baseball cards and bottle caps, it’s definitely daunting to simply walk away from it all. By the end of your high school career, it can feel as though you’ve almost built yourself a mini empire to trump Trump’s, just involving less real estate and fewer bad toupees.
Jordan, a sophomore at McGill University, knows how this feels. “I was president of student council in my final year of high school, and departing from that post felt kind of like making my way to head cheerleader, only to start at the bottom of the pyramid again.”
Henderson notes this difficult departure but says pre-collegiettes should remember that, “at the same time, there are so many extracurricular activities offered in college, there is always a way of continuing or branching out from everything you have been involved in throughout high school. While a commitment to a certain club in college may be taken more seriously than it would have in high school, there are so many more options of groups to get involved in, the opportunities become greater, too.”
Jordan agrees. “Instead of thinking of all your extracurriculars as having added up to nothing at the end of high school, think of them as invaluable experience for future endeavors and a jumping off point for extracurriculars at a college level.”
College Anxiety #4: “I don’t feel smart enough for college-level classes.”
Of all the things people will tell you about college, it’s unlikely any of them will say it’s easy. College-level classes will be more difficult than what you’ve experienced thus far. But before your application got accepted anywhere, it had to pass through quite a few hands, none of whom would have forwarded it on had you clearly not been ready for what college is going to require!
Ines Scharnweber, an academic adviser at McGill University, points out that, “[College admissions ensure that] any students admitted are smart enough to have succeeded academically throughout high school. Simply by being admitted to a university, you know you are smart enough for the institution.”
Sanah, a sophomore at McGill University, also notes, “It’s not a question of being smart enough from the get-go. You should keep in mind that there’s a learning curve to not only classes, but just college life in general. College is a time of huge growth so don’t worry about coming prepared with all the tools you need; you’ll gain them along the way.”
Nonetheless, it’s totally normal to be freaked out at the prospect of college classes—but remember that what got you through high school will get you through at college, too. You know how to study. You know how to write a paper. These things don’t change!—the expectations just grow a little higher.
Jessica, a junior at Ohio University, can relate. “I had this crazy fear that I was going to fail out of college. I was a good student in high school, but I was convinced that the college courses were going to be so intense that I would be stuck studying for most of my four years. As far as dealing with it, I quickly found out that studying and being prepared helped me get along fine!”
Scharnweber notes that if you are still worried, there may be other issues you need to address. “There are other issues that have an impact on how well you do academically beyond just being smart. Anyone who feels this way should speak to an advisor to become familiar with the expectations of the university. The problem is always that students think ‘Oh, I’m the only one who’s not doing well. I’m the only one with problems in this class’ and that’s obviously not true because if it were, there would be no need for advisors!”
While the prospect of your mom turning your bedroom into a craft closet is, admittedly, chilling, let your pre-college worries end there. Just enjoy the end of senior year and know that having a few anxieties is actually a positive thing! It means that you care about your future. That being said, it’s probably more rational to be worrying about a sudden influx of ribbons and patterned card stock taking over your bedroom than it is to think you’re not going to make it through the high school-to-college transition alive. We promise – you will!