Like clockwork, as the holidays approach, my social media feed gets filled with photos of cute and cozy Friendsgiving celebrations. For college students, these gatherings aren’t just about the traditional customs of the holiday season, but also the cherished friendships they represent — whether they’re the old bonds that have withstood the test of time (and location, if you go to a different school than your other hometown friends), or new relationships that feel special in their own right. And while I appreciate all the positivity that Friendsgiving can bring, I’m not going to lie, I also get Friendsgiving FOMO pretty badly.
I’ve learned firsthand that college is a time when relationships are constantly evolving — whether that means bringing people closer together or farther apart. As time has passed, I’ve drifted apart from old friends — sometimes life just moves people in different directions. I’ve mostly made peace with this fact of life (especially because I’ve had such wonderful new friends come into my life), but sometimes I find myself looking back nostalgically on those old friendships and the moments that have now just become bittersweet memories. I feel this especially when Friendsviging season rolls around and I see groups of besties getting together to honor their friendships.
Over time, I’ve learned how to navigate these emotions. The first thing I do is allow myself to feel some sadness about my friendships that have ended, because these feelings are normal and shouldn’t come with shame. But I also try to think about why the friendships ended. It can be easy to just want things to go back to the way they were, but often, these changes happen for a reason — and acknowledging that makes it easier to move on. Plus, I find that accepting that things went wrong, and understanding why they went wrong, allows me to cherish my current relationships and seek out ways to keep them thriving.
Also, social media plays a strong role in Friendsgiving FOMO. Each post filled with smiles and inside jokes can be a reminder of friendships that have faded or gatherings we aren’t a part of anymore. Scrolling through a timeline of people at their “best” moments can trigger feelings of inadequate comparisons and a sense of loneliness. So, I try to be mindful of my social media use this time of year. If you experience similar feelings, I recommend taking a break from social media, especially when you find yourself starting to feel badly.
Ultimately, Friendsgiving FOMO reminds me of the seasons of college friendships — like the seasons, some friends blossomed with me, others faded away, and others aren’t as close to me but still carry an important role in my life. Holding onto the gratitude I feel for all of these friends makes each relationship feel like a celebration. And to me, that’s what Friendsgiving is truly about: a chance to honor all the connections that have helped shape who I am today.