Congrats, senior pre-collegiettes! You’ve survived the draining college admissions process and are now surfing the web trying to learn more about your prospective schools! You’ve even been invited to join your colleges’ admitted students Facebook group. But what’s proper etiquette for these sorts of social media pages? And how do you keep yourself from ending up on Accepted 2017, a blog of all the college Facebook group interactions gone wrong? Good news: we’ve got your covered!
DO Interact With Others
There’s no problem chatting with other admitted students online! Talk to your fellow pre-frosh about common interests or what you want to do when you get on campus. Many students will feel the same excitement (and relief!) as you do, and that’s something great to share. Besides, it’s always good to feel like you know a couple of people when you arrive in the fall.
Megan Brown, a freshman at Wesleyan University who was active on the WesAdmits 2016 page, has some advice for pre-frosh looking to connect with fellow admitted students using social media. “If you choose to participate, share just a few details that really speak to your personality but aren’t too much information or potentially offensive!”
There are several appropriate types of questions you can ask. Megan suggests sparking conversations by asking people where they’re from, what majors they are interested in, where they want to live on campus, what music they listen to, or what hobbies or extracurricular activities they want to pursue in college.
Kate Masters, another freshman at Wesleyan University, also has several pieces of advice for what not to post on an admitted students page. “Don’t post political or religious opinions. And never criticize or hate on anyone in the group because people will judge you! Also, never mention drugs or alcohol. Students remember that sort of stuff, and remember that college administrators moderate the page. If you’re having second thoughts about posting something, don’t do it!”
DON’T Friend Request and Interact with Every Single Person
This is a big pre-frosh social media DON’T. As mentioned earlier, you may feel a sense of closeness with other pre-frosh, but you do not have to be best buddies with every single person before you get to school.
Megan chimes in with some good advice when it comes to friend requesting or following people. “I think if you’ve talked to somebody several times online, there’s no harm in friend requesting [that person], but it’s unnecessary to do it to people you don’t know!” You don’t want to scare off classmates by seeming overly eager (and maybe creepy).
Another huge no-no: flirting with potential partners online or measuring the looks of other pre-frosh. “People will always look and act different in real life. No one is as attractive physically and personality-wise as you make them out to be on the Internet!” Kate warns.
DO Proofread, and Comment Sparingly
As Megan mentioned before, people could take something you say the wrong way. Before you post anything, make sure you use proper grammar, punctuation, and language. Your fellow college students will judge you for writing, “I luv u al S000000 f$%&#@ muchhhhhhH!” That’s not a great reputation to have before you even get to college!
Kate reminds pre-frosh to keep posts short. “Definitely don’t use smiley faces, all caps, or bad grammar. You’re speaking to an incredibly large and diverse audience, even if only a couple of people are responding to a thread. You could be taken the wrong way by accident. Save yourself the trouble, and keep your posts short and to the point!”
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DON’T Comment On Every Single Thread
Everyone in an admitted students groups remembers that student who wrote on every thread possible no matter what the topic.
Veronika Koren, a freshman at Northwestern University, recalls a student in particular who was too much of a presence on Facebook. “We had this one girl, Olga, who commented on everything and was constantly posting [on the Facebook group]. [We’ve been at Northwestern for almost an entire year and] she’s still a conversation starter [on the old admitted students group]! If I mention Olga to anyone else in my class, they’ll immediately know who she is and start ranting about her!”
Megan also understands the desire to try and talk on every single thread of a Facebook group. Her advice for stopping yourself? “[Remember that] you’re going to get to know people in real life and you’ll have plenty of chances to tell them interesting things about yourself when you meet them!”
DO Look at Other Types of College Social Media
Don’t limit yourself to just the admitted students page if you want to learn more about a college! There’s only so much the pre-frosh and a couple of current students can tell you, so do some research on your own. For example, lots of colleges nowadays have anonymous Compliments Facebook pages (NYU Compliments, Wes Compliments) where students sing the praises of one another.
Secrets pages, where students confess their private thoughts anonymously, are also a great way to get connected to a school. ‘Like’ some of the school’s student organizations on Facebook, or follow them on Twitter. It’s a great way to get involved digitally without giving off the wrong impression.
DON’T Over-Share Online
The urge to over-share your life and personal details with fellow pre-frosh is common, particularly on the admitted students Facebook page.
Megan saw a lot of this on social media websites. “I think it’s easy to be really enthusiastic and want to make friends with people prior to coming to campus, but everyone should be aware that the way you interact with people on Facebook is not a good indicator of real friendship potential.” At the end of the day, only in-person contact can truly let you know if you want to pursue a friendship with someone.
Megan speaks from her own experience; she felt like she had problems making friends due to her own over-sharing on Wesleyan’s pre-frosh group. “I was really nervous about going to a school where I didn’t know anybody, so I tried to become familiar with people through Facebook but ended up wishing I hadn’t. [Using Facebook to meet people] creates a false sense of closeness that can be awkward and disappointing in real life.”
In addition, seeing people on campus can be extremely awkward. “You realize once you get to campus that you don’t know these people all that well,” Megan says. “Online you think, ‘Oh my gosh, everyone’s so cool, I have to try hard!’ and then you meet them on campus and it’s uncomfortable to match online expectations with actual reality.”
Kate also feels like admitted student pages skew what people are like in real life. “You just forget that people have insecurities and that they’re three-dimensional. It’s hard to see that online.”
Remember that you’re spending four years with these people, and that’s plenty of time to tell them about your hopes, dreams, fears, favorite celebrities, and crushes! Don’t spill your life story to the other pre-frosh on the web. There’s something to be said for a little mystery!
The Bottom Lin
Thinking of just swearing off all pre-frosh social media? That also might not be the best idea. Veronika highlights that along with the humor and fun banter, a lot of helpful advice comes from pre-frosh Facebook pages. “People find roommates on them, get to know their classmates, and ask questions about the school and things to do before school [like registering for classes or housing assignments].”
She recalls one time in particular when being a part of Northwestern’s Facebook group really came in handy. “I remember our housing was really complicated and no one could figure out what room they were in, but someone finally figured it out and posted it on the page and saved everyone!”
After her own debacle with pre-frosh social media, Megan thinks you should go about making friends the good ol’ fashioned way. “I recommend letting things happen naturally when you get to campus because it’s so easy to make friends [especially during orientation]! Social media is more of a crutch that can do more harm than good.”
Lastly, remember: you’re a senior! Enjoy hanging out with your friends and family, cruising around town, and tying up any loose ends at school. Go out and have a great rest of your high school experience!