We all know guys aren’t always the timeliest texters. Though we try to keep our cool, the waiting game can make us think some pretty irrational thoughts. Here are just a few of the things that may have crossed your mind while waiting for his text message response to light up your phone.
1. What if he got a girlfriend in the last hour since we’ve texted?
2. I knew the exclamation point was too enthusiastic; he totally thinks I’m in love with him now.
3. Maybe I should post something flirty on another guy’s Facebook wall to make him jealous.
4. Is the service in here bad? Maybe he has bad service?
5. He probably lost his phone last night. Maybe I should check his Facebook to see if he posted a status about losing his phone.
6. What if he saw me wear my PJs to the dining hall yesterday morning and now he doesn’t think I’m cute anymore?
7. Should I text someone else to make sure my phone is working?
8. Maybe I’ll check and see if he’s tweeted at all since I texted him.
9. He tweeted something about the basketball game on TV and yet still hasn’t texted me back. I bet he just wants to wait until the game is over so he can give our conversation his undivided attention.
10. Did it freak him out that I texted him back right away? Should I have waited at least 20 minutes first?
11. Why did I add a thumbs-up emoji to that last text?! He probably has no idea I was using it ironically and he thinks I’m totally lame now.
12. “Hahaha” was definitely too much. I knew I should have just stopped at “haha.”
13. I bet he just went to bed really early. Plenty of people go to bed at 8 p.m.
14. Maybe he didn’t save me in his contacts.
15. Maybe he saved me in his contacts as something like, “Blonde from party.” Should I tell him who this is?
16. Why did I say “LMAO”? Who even says “LMAO” anymore?!
17. Did he notice that I snorted when I laughed at his joke last night? Is that why he isn’t texting me back?
18. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to text him before noon on a Saturday. I probably woke him up and now he hates me.
19. Maybe I’ll casually text his roommate and try and find out what they’re doing tonight through him.
20. He must be with his ex right now. He just doesn’t want her to see him texting me because she’ll get jealous.
21. Oh, no—I just realized I said “who’s” when I meant to say “whose.” I’m sure he thinks I’m illiterate now.
22. I wonder if he’s on a reflective retreat this weekend and isn’t allowed to interact with anyone outside the retreat center until he comes back.
23. Maybe he doesn’t have unlimited texting. Maybe I’m using up his texts for the month and he’s totally annoyed.
24. What if he hit his head and got knocked unconscious? Should I go to his room and make sure he’s okay?
25. I bet someone told him about the time I got way too drunk at the frat mixer freshman year and now he’s never going to want to hang out with me.
26. Did his friends tell him not to text me back? Do his friends think he can do better than me?
27. Maybe he decided to do one of those weeklong technology purges.
28. He’s probably having a late lunch right now. Or an early dinner. And he probably just doesn’t want to be rude by answering his phone. Yeah, that must be it.
29. Could his phone have died? Is it possible for a guy to go four hours without charging his phone?
30. What if he went for a jog and got abducted?
31. Maybe his phone got stolen while he was on the bus.
32. Did he drop his phone recently? Maybe the screen is too cracked for him to read my message.
33. Maybe I’ll try sending him an inbox message on Facebook instead. Or tweeting at him. Or slipping a note under his door.
34. Maybe he saw my message and decided he’d text me back in a minute and then he totally forgot to. Should I text him again so he remembers?
35. I just double texted him. Now he thinks I’m obsessed with him and he’s probably going to file a restraining order.
36. Why did I think it was cute to start my text with “yo”? He probably thought I was being serious and that I’m the kind of girl who begins her texts with “yo”!
37. Was the winky face too much? OMG, the winky face was definitely too much.
38. I should go to the gym or take a shower to distract myself. I bet I’ll have a text from him by the time I’m done.
39. I spent an extra 10 minutes in the shower shaving my legs and didn’t even look at my phone until after I blow-dried my hair, and he still hasn’t texted me back. I won’t let myself check my phone again until after I do my makeup.
40. What if he was walking down the stairs while he was reading my text and he got distracted and fell and broke his wrist and now he can’t answer me?
41. Wait, he started typing. Now he stopped. He’s starting again. And now he stopped again. Maybe he’s just putting a lot of thought into what he wants to say back to me?
42. Did he just get a new phone recently? Maybe he’s still trying to figure it out.
43. He totally isn’t into me. He isn’t into me, and he thinks avoiding me is the best way to get rid of me.
44. Maybe he committed a horrible crime and he’s on the run and he doesn’t want to text anyone for fear the police will be able to trace his phone.
45. Should I send him a scandalous picture? I’m sure that will get his attention.
46. You know what? Forget him. I’m just going to text my ex instead.
47. I wonder if he’s playing hard to get. When he finally texts me back I’m going to wait twice as long to text him back.
48. I bet he’s in class. No, wait; it’s a Sunday. I bet he’s at church.
49. If I just keep staring at my phone, I think I can telekinetically will him to return my text message.
50. It’s official: I will never understand guys.
Good luck waiting for that return text, collegiettes. Just try to keep your mind occupied (and keep your sanity!) in the meantime.