Youâve met a really great guy around campus, and things seem to be going well. You flirt, you text and you hang out, but for some reason, he just wonât make the first move. Every sign indicates that heâs into you, but instead of dating, youâre stuck frantically checking your phone for texts and refreshing his Facebook and Twitter pages for any kind of information. Itâs driving you crazy!
Some guys are just a bit shyer than others and might never make the first move. However, that shouldnât stop you from scoring a first date! Here are a few indications that it might be time to ask him out, and tips for how to do it.
The Signs He Likes You
1. Heâs vague with plans
When youâre trying to make plans with a guy, thereâs nothing more frustrating than the word âsometime.â
âMy first two years of school, I knew this guy named Dillon. We were always together, we texted and talked on the phone almost every day and his friends had told me he liked me,â says Hannah, a senior at the University of Colorado. âI used to get so frustrated though, because, despite all of that, he never actually asked me out.â Â
According to Carole Lieberman, a psychiatrist and relationship expert, vague suggestions about going out âsometime,â ânext timeâ or âsoonâ show that heâs definitely interested in hanging out, but for some reason isnât prepared to nail down a date and time.
2. He texts, but never calls
Youâve been texting this guy nonstop and your conversations are great. His jokes are perfect and his emojis are on point, but he just wonât pick up the phone and call.
Lieberman says this shows that he enjoys talking to you, but heâs just uncertain of how to take your communication â and your relationship â to the next level.
3. He has good body language
For some guys, actions really do speak louder than words. While you may be frustrated with his lack of verbal commitment, donât forget to pay attention to his body language. If he makes a lot of eye contact with you or chooses to stand or sit close to you, then you can be sure heâs interested.
The most important piece of body language, according to Lieberman, is lots of smiling. She says a guy who flirts with you without making any sexual advances may actually be very interested. This means that youâre more than just a possible one-night stand to him â youâre girlfriend material.Â
4. Youâre stuck as his plus-one
Weekends in college are filled with parties, casual hangouts and large group events. A sure sign that a guy is interested in you is if heâs constantly inviting you to these as his plus-one. Being his date shows that youâre on his mind and that heâs comfortable spending time with you.
âI was really into this girl during my sophomore year, but for a really long time I wasnât sure she liked me,â says Matt, a junior at Boston University. âInstead of just going for it and asking her out, I usually just defaulted to taking her with me to friendsâ parties and casual hangouts.â
5. He talks about you
Sometimes when a guy knows he likes you, he finds it easier to talk to anyone but you about it. If he wonât stop talking about you to his guy friends and wonât stop asking your girl friends about you, then chances are heâs head over heels.
âMy first semester, I had class with a really great girl. We had talked a few times and I knew I liked her, but I didnât know how to get to know her more,â says Griffin, a sophomore at Belmont University. âWe had a mutual friend, so I spent a lot of time asking her for tips about this girlâs hobbies or interests. I figured it would be a better way to start up conversation.â
Do any of these signs sound like your guy? It might just be time to make your move!
How to Ask Him Out
If youâve decided that the best thing is for you to ask him out, make sure you know exactly how to do it. For Lieberman, asking a guy out is all about making it relaxed and informal.
âIf youâre going to ask a guy out, itâs best to make it as nonthreatening as possible,â Lieberman says. âFor example, you can invite him to a gathering of some sort â like a party or a meeting of a club â where itâs not going to be one-on-one, like a real date.â
These types of group events are easy ways to test the waters and avoid any awkward situations. Theyâll create a more informal setting for the two of you, and with other people around, itâs much less intimidating.
Liebermanâs second tip is to keep it simple and remove all of the pressure.
âBe very casual when you ask a guy out,â Lieberman says. âYou can say something like, âHey, I heard there was going to be a cool party at my dorm tomorrow night. Do you want to drop by?â If he gets [a] deer-in-headlights look, quickly backpedal and say you just remembered youâre supposed to be somewhere else right now. Wave goodbye and say, âYou can call me if you want to go.â Then, if he never mentions it again, donât push it.â
Taking a relationship from flirting to dating is always tricky. Even if your crush might be a little shy, that doesnât mean you two have to be stuck in relationship limbo. As a confident collegiette, never be afraid to go for it and ask him out!