Romantic comedies can be amazing chick flicks—but let’s be real, they’re completely unrealistic. Here are five problems every romantic comedy lover experiences:
1. Rom com characters do NOT exist in real life
I am not ashamed to admit that I am madly in love with a myriad of romantic comedies’ best leading men. There’s Noah Calhoun, of The Notebook, who fell for a girl and simply wouldn’t take no for an answer—but in a non-creepy and totally heartfelt way. Then there’s Graham of The Holiday, whose favorite girls were not other women, but in fact his two adorable daughters. There’s also Kevin Doyle of 27 Dresses, who is actually not a cynic but a man in need of love. There are so many more. Don’t get me wrong. I really do enjoy falling for these fictional characters, but they are just that: fictional.
Falling for these men will never lead me anywhere. While it’s a great way to pass time on the elliptical, in bed or in the shower, it just won’t happen. They won’t take me out to dinner, meet my friends and someday marry me. So in the end, fun as it is, it’s time and energy that perhaps would be better spent on a real man.
2. Leading men don’t actually exist
No one in real life can ever be that good, because “that good” does not exist. The men in these movies are dreamt up to be the perfect guy, and then played by incredibly attractive actors. Realistically, I know this, but it is still a disappointment each time I have to face the fact that no one is going to hold a boom box up to my window.
Odds are that I will not be chased down for a date, followed across the world or written to every day for 365 days because a man is hopelessly in love with me. These movies that I love so much have created my dream man and he’s fictional, and that is heartbreaking.
3. Rom coms are always just a little too perfect
It seems as though in movies, the guy someone just knows when his lady needs something. She’s having a rough day? There he is with ice cream, his amazing body and of course a bottle of vodka. She didn’t have to tell him she was sad. He just knew. Not only can they tell when you are hurting, but they also know exactly what you need to feel better.
This makes the idea of having to actually tell people when you need something feel like a let down. I have found myself more than once wishing that whoever I was with at the time could just tell when I needed them. Unfortunately, this always just ends up with me feeling silly for thinking that a guy could ever know what I wanted without me telling him.
4. Don’t compare your real life BFF to the movie BFFs
Movie best friends never seem to be busy. They are pretty much just sitting around waiting for their best friend to call them, or even better, they just show up at their house. They, like the boyfriend, also have mind reading abilities. They can sense when their girl is down, and are always available to make her feel better.
The first is when the friend shows up at the door in cutesy pajamas with some strong alcohol, a movie and chocolate, and says something along the lines of “tell me everything.” This is typically followed by a musical compilation of scenes in which the two friends laugh, drink and just have an incredible girls night. The second option is when the friend once again shows up at the door using her mind reading powers, holding a stunning dress and saying something like “we are going out.” This too is then followed with music and scenes of the friends looking hot on a dance floor somewhere, also with large quantities of alcohol.
Now, I don’t know about you, but my friends cannot read minds. In addition to this, they have their own lives. As great as my girls are, they can’t drop everything they have going on to take me out when something goes wrong in my life. If all my friends did this every time shit hit the fan in another friend’s life, we would always be drunk. Still, it would be nice if friends were around whenever you were hurting, and to be able to still look gorgeous in the process. It would also be nice to live in some alternate universe where chocolate and alcohol don’t mess with the impeccable body all leading ladies seem to have, but beggars can’t be choosers.
5. You can’t change a bad boy
We all know these movies. The one where the girl falls for a guy who she knows is bad news. She knows he is a player, he cannot commit, he is just trouble and all her friends tell her so. Still, she just knows he is different. After a few emotional scenes with dramatic music, where the girl swears she is done with him, he realizes she is all he ever wanted, and he changes. Sure, he was against monogamy before, but that was when he didn’t know her. He didn’t realize how incredibly deep and interesting she was.
This though is not the case. It is not possible to change people. If they change, it is because they wanted to. Going into a relationship with the idea that the person can be changed is never a good plan.
There’s a lot to love about rom coms—but we shouldn’t be using them to forge our expectations for our love lives anytime soon.