After The Break Up

First of all: break-ups are hard, and that’s okay.

 

 

After spending a fair while mulling over what sort of creative introduction to put in before it gets to the emotional stuff, I’ve decided just to get straight to the point. When you cut off a romantic tie with someone that you still have feelings for, no matter how friendly the terms, it will always feel horrible. When I’ve been in this situation before, I’ve found little to no help in advice from websites and magazines because it alway sums up with “it’ll get better, it always does.” Whilst this is probably true, in the midst of the break up this will seem impossible and really far off. 

 

So I thought I’d share a bit about my recent situation, not to try and convince you that things wont always be so bad, but so people out there know that there’s ways to work with the feelings and, most importantly, that you’ll never be alone in having them. After being in a long term relationship which sort of naturally disintegrated, I didn’t want to get involved with anyone and just enjoy time to myself. This lasted approximately 2-3 months, and I happened to meet someone that I just clicked with. Oddly enough, they’d also sworn off involvement for their own personal reasons but heigh-ho there it was. 

 

After seeing each other for the best part of a year, their reasons for struggling with a relationship just became too much for both of us and we called it quits. I knew it absolutely wasn’t personal and there may be hope for the future, but that wasn’t an insurance for my impending happiness and moving on. This person really helped me move on from some issues without even realising it, and as I’ve said they meant a lot for me to change my ‘no boys’ rule so fast. And to meet someone that you have so much potential for something really good with only for it to not work out is pretty tough. 

 

 

We’re still really good friends and they’re someone I will always care about. But the reason I’m sharing this with you is because if there is some magic cure for getting over a break up I don’t know what it is, I still feel pretty miserable. However, I’m managing to work around this. Michelle Obama once spoke about how if she had put boys before herself she wouldn’t now be married to the U.S. President. This sort of advice might be hard to swallow when you’ve separated from someone you could have been really happy with, but you can look at it a different way until the day comes when you maybe do start to feel better. I can really stick in with my work and hopefully land my dream job, visit all the countries and I want to and get the most out of life- if you can imagine doing all this whilst still pining for someone, at least you’re still imagining it. 

 

I guess my main point is that what I’ve found works for me isn’t trying aimlessly and constantly thinking about how and when you’ll move on from a break up. Instead, try focusing on other things you want to achieve whilst accepting your situation. There’s no way to magically wake up and be over someone, but try imagining what it would be like getting through all this whilst still missing that person. Realistically it probably wont work out like that and you will get over them, but it sure sounds better than being told to force yourself to get on with it waiting for that one magical morning where you wake up over it. Then when the day does come, you’ll feel great for having stuck in with what’s important, and you’ll hopefully get the added satisfaction of doing it without post-break up sadness.