Age: (I’m feeling) 22 years old
Year of Uni: Graduated 2013
Subject: Investment Banking
Hometown: Glasgow/Aberdeen… Glaberdonian?
HC: What is your sense of style?
John: Preppy. I have too many hoodies for a working man, but I’m willing to share them with the right girl.
HC: Describe yourself in a nutshell…
John: Single, Eligible, Available and Single.
HC: Are you single or attached?
John: Ready to be attached.
HC: What do you look for in a girl?
John: Serious answer now. I like a girl with beautiful eyes and someone you feel comfortable with.
HC: What’s your favourite place in Aberdeen?
John: The roof at my house is extremely romantic. Come over. Meet my parents. Maybe let’s get married? Please?
HC: What’s your favourite ice cream flavour?
John: Rocky Road. Because even if the roads are rocky, I’ll get you through it.
HC: What’s your go-to chat up line?
John: ‘If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy.’ Generally when I use it girls become quite easy though… so they can’t be that amazing.
HC: Where do you see yourself in five years?
John: I’ll still be a banker wanker, but hopefully I’ll have found ‘The One’ to buy lots of nice presents for and take on holiday. Are you girls taking the hint yet?
HC: Who is your celebrity crush?
John: The pink power ranger. And I have a serious man crush on James Franco.
HC: What is your favourite night out in Aberdeen?
John: Liquid / Institute Wednesday. Silly question.
HC: What is your best quality?
John: I think my best quality is that I’m easy to talk to (or so I’ve been told). If you have any problems you want to talk about I’m a pretty good listener. Oh and I have good manners, so you have nothing to worry about when you take me home to meet your parents! I suppose that’s three qualities… but you’re going to have to put them all in. Sorry.
HC: What would you take to a desert island?
John: Bucket and spade.
HC: What is your biggest turn on?
John: Biggest turn on has got to be a girl that can sing or dance.
HC: What’s your biggest turn off?
John: Massively turned off by girls that have a willy… Sorry.
HC: What is your fail-safe joke?
John: Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
HC: What is your idea of the perfect date?
John: I would take her to Rome. From there I’d probably just wing it. Not even trolling.