Her Story: Living With Chronic Kidney Disease
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Living with Chronic Kidney Disease was definitely the biggest shock to end 2016. Even with two grandparents sadly passing away in the same year, the morning I got told was a very chilly memory.Ā
It was sort of one of those surreal experiences that you werenāt sure if it was a dream or not, but when your mum comes to talk about this article and the next sheās found online you realise – āgreat this is my life from now onā.Ā
But it was a slow process that showed early signs. The summer before, I had 3 urinary infections before they eventually realised I had a kidney infection. Then I started losing lots of weight (in the wrong season mind you), then silly stuff that people wouldnāt notice. I now have false eyelashes as my real ones all fell out; my nails break or fall off completely; my skin chips and there isnāt enough Neutrogena in the world to save it. All stuff that makes you feel quite less feminine. I put it down to being stressed with Uni and work, but in the months coming up to Christmas, I felt unwell far too often and would get sharp pains in my body. It would even get to a stage that every weekend an hour before work, I was struggling to go in. So I guess these little signs were there that you would never even think would be symptoms for a kidney disease.Ā
I remember then I started googling, which I know is never what you should do because before you know it, you have stage 10 āIām gonna die right any secondā disease. But joking aside, I was going home for Christmas and decided to get checked out. After a couple of blood tests and MRI scans, I had Chronic Kidney Disease, or CKD. To be honest, I really didnāt have much notion about the disease and perhaps a lot of people do but it was a real change to my life. I have subsequently became celiac and lactose intolerant (as well as already being a vegetarian), and I must admit, meal times are no longer fun; no salt = no cinema popcorn or crisps or basically anything. But it is helping because I was very much noticing shortness of breath and chest pains from simple stair case walks. Donāt get me wrong Iāve always being a healthy person, so to find out that because one of my kidneys is failing, suddenly Iām required without choice to make dietary requirements if I want to stay at stage 2.
But thatās something Iām struggling to deal with everyday. Sometimes I have those mornings, when my body starts bruising because my muscles are so sore and I just cry. Other mornings, I tell myself to put a brave face on and try to not let it keep controlling me. The sad part is it can control you. Iāve noticed at times itās stopped me from hanging out with friends because Iāll need time to myself. While God knows I love to cry, I need to eventually come to grips that this is my life now. Itās a process, and although I might wish I could rewind time, everyone comes to grips with life changes in their own time.
So I guess Iāve written this article as a means of escape, as Iām not sure if Iāll ever be comfortable with the idea that Iām a CKD patient, and being perfectly honest, not all my friends know. Itās hard because what Iāve found so far, once somebody knows, you get the sympathy look and while I appreciate peopleās love and care, I just want to be treated as the same me before my life changed in December 2016.Ā