I don’t think I’m alone when I say that the sex education I received at school was… questionable.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t bad and it certainly could have been a lot worse, however, it also could have been better. The things that we were taught about, mainly puberty and how to put on a condom, are all there is to sex. There was no mention of female pleasure, hardly anything on relationships, and the topic of queer sex was avoided at all costs. If anything, I feel like I left those classes with way more questions than answers. Not only that, but the classes had been so awkward that I also felt like I had no one I could talk to, and that puberty and sex were topics I wasn’t supposed to discuss. In fact, it’s only now, in my early 20s, that I am really beginning to understand how to approach these topics and feel comfortable discussing sex and relationships with partners.
That being said, the resource that I have found the most influential on my sex positivity journey is the sex education community on Instagram. This community strives to better sex education practices and dismantle the taboo nature of the topic. Although there are many amazing people in the community, my favourite educator is Ruby Rare, who has recently published a book entitled Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults.
In this book, Ruby covers a wealth of topics from consent to BDSM (and so much more!), all while maintaining a warm and friendly writing style that puts you at ease. Not only that, but she uses inclusive language that makes the book much more accessible. However, if you are uncomfortable with any of the topics covered, you can just skip it and nothing will be lost from your experience of the rest of the book. The book is also interactive, and in each chapter there are a variety of different, optional activities for you to complete. I haven’t even mentioned the beautiful illustrations by Sofie Birkin that capture visually the joy and happiness in everything Ruby describes in her writing. The only criticism I have is that some of the topics, specifically those in the ‘Sexy Extras’ chapter, were not longer. However, it is impossible to write about everything, and Ruby cites lots of further resources in each section if you want to know more, which is fantastic (and maybe she will release another book in the future, who knows!).
I would give this book 5/5 stars as I feel it is a great educational tool, possibly even a good starting place for those interested in learning how to become a sex educator themselves. It is a must have – everyone should read this book!