The transition to university involves a lot of social change. Even if you had a solid group of friends in school, you immediately lose a built-in circle of people to do things with. When I came to university last year, I had to accept that if I wanted to go out and explore my new home city, I had to do a lot of it alone.
Begrudgingly, I would pack my backpack for a day out, pop in my headphones, and get on a bus to town. But gradually, I started to look forward to solo outings. And now I’m a full-fledged proponent of solo trips! I’ve even expanded from day trips to solo international travel.
I have discovered that many things traditionally done with friends, family, or a partner are way more fun to do alone (at least for me). These include:
- Shopping
There is so much less pressure to find good clothes when you’re alone. And if the bright fitting room lights (that I swear are designed to make you feel as insecure as possible) get to be too much, you can leave the store whenever you want! You can browse for as long or as short as you like, and no one else’s opinion matters.
- Museums
Similar to shopping, you can take as long as you like to look at each exhibit. I went to an art museum and totally skipped a gallery that didn’t interest me, which I would feel embarrassed to do if I was there with a friend.
- Going to the beach
I always thought I wasn’t a beach person until I went alone. As it turns out, I am just not an all-day beach person. I got too hot about three hours in, so I left! No negotiations with anyone else about when to leave.
- Getting your nails done
Matching up the timing with someone else complicates this process so much more! Plus, I really enjoy getting to know whoever is providing a beauty service to me, which is much nicer one-on-one.
- Doing uni work in a coffee shop
Whenever I go with people, I find myself getting distracted too easily and never finishing any work. Worse, I’m constantly worried about distracting my companion too! I’m much more productive by myself, and also, it’s the perfect setup for a rom-com style meet cute.
- Seeing a live performance
A concert, a comedy show, a play! Just because no one in your friend group is interested doesn’t mean you should miss out on a good show. And there’s usually one or two empty seats by themselves near the front that no one in a group can sit in, so you can get a good seat.
When you’re alone, you’re always able to eat, drink, and rest whenever you want. There’s no concern about burdening someone by going to the bathroom again, or delaying lunch because they’re not hungry yet. It’s a great time to catch up on music or podcasts and spend some time reflecting. On the whole, it makes for much more comfortable travel experiences.
There are so many bigger advantages to solo ventures, too. My confidence in my navigational abilities has grown because I can’t rely on someone else to get me where I’m going. I’ve seen some really cool places by accident, all because I stopped on a whim at a store I’ve never visited before. And the boost in self-esteem has been tremendous! Feeling independent in the world (especially as a woman) is an irreplaceable experience.
As I got more comfortable being alone, small day trips turned into an overnight trip in Edinburgh, which turned into a week trip to Spain by myself. This was a real test of my comfort level being alone. And sure, standing by myself in a crowd full of people speaking a language I don’t know well, all waiting together to see a parade go by, was initially strange. But realising that no one else in the crowd actually cared was an epiphany for me– I rarely notice whether people are in a group, so why would someone else notice me?
Solo travel does inherently involve pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. Going into a restaurant and sitting down without anyone to talk to IS scary. And I’m not saying that I would have always chosen to go out by myself at the beginning. It’s really fun to make new friends and go on adventures with them. But the pride that I feel in my independence from semi-forced solo travel is an important part of my identity now. And just knowing that I can do things by myself is a great antidote to feeling nervous about any new experience.
I can’t recommend solo trips enough. Be smart (especially if you’re female-presenting, because unfortunately, the reality of the situation is that you are slightly more vulnerable by yourself), but get out there! There’s so much joy to be found in going on adventures alone.