Yes, my makeup is weird. Thank you for noticing.
For the past two weeks, I’ve woken up, washed my face, then sat down in front of the mirror and rather than looking for things to fix, I’ve started looking at my canvas.
I never thought I was an artist. I’ve never been very talented at painting or drawing or finding something beautiful from an empty page. But that’s because I had the wrong perception of what an empty page could look like. My biggest realization was that an empty page could be that moment of silence after a breakup. It could be your first day at a new job. It could just be waking up and realizing that you don’t like what you’ve been doing with your life. And yes, it can be your face.
For so long, I used my makeup to cover up. I first picked up concealer in the fifth grade because I hated that I had bags under my eyes. In hindsight, I can’t believe I was so worried about fitting into the beauty standard already, but it does make sense. We learn that we need to fit in at such a young age.
But growing up means learning who you are at your core and finally taking off the mask that you’ve been wearing for so long. I am so much more than a person who has uneven skin or short eyelashes or invisible eyebrows. I am a person who can think creatively, and I think it’s such a beautiful opportunity to be able to make a little piece of artwork on my face every day.
So, I’ve been doing fun graphic eyeliner or a different color of eyeshadow and rather than changing what I don’t like, I’ve just taken those things that are different about me and accepted that as my canvas.
There’s so much beauty in truth.
I know that may sound counterintuitive because the truth can be so ugly, but something about revealing that honesty and finally reframing how I viewed my face made me feel whole again.
Not every day can be perfect and I’m aware that this isn’t the biggest protest I could do, but I’m so glad I finally feel free enough to stop worrying if my makeup is perfect and simply pursue creating a more beautiful life for myself. I hope that I can see others on campus doing the same.
No, I’m not going to cover up that pimple. It’s a part of the masterpiece. It’s a part of who I am.