Do you ever sit in your room at 3 a.m. listening to Taylor Swift thinking about how life doesn’t really feel like it’s working out? Yeah… me neither. Just kidding, of course I do. We all do, at times. Recently, I went through a period where I was doing that pretty frequently. I realized this mopey, downtrodden, passive attitude is what TikTok likes to call not feeling like the main character in your own life. So, what do you do when you aren’t feeling like the main character? What do you do when you feel like nothing is working out or life is changing too quickly and there’s nothing you can do to keep up? Here are 5 steps to keep your head above the water and get back to owning the lead role in your own life.
- Accept Where You Are
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The first thing we all need to do when making a change is reflect on where we are and accept it. Look at your life, right now. Look at your choices, your priorities, and the things you have absolutely no control over. Accept what has been done. Congratulate yourself on your successes thus far, forgive yourself for your mistakes (even if you’re still suffering the consequences of them), and let go of what you cannot control. Knowing where you are is the only way to orient yourself toward where you are meant to go next.
- Take A Day Off
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Once you’ve given yourself the space to accept where you are, take a breath. Life can get pretty hard sometimes, so give yourself a break. Billy Joel said it best in his song Vienna: “you can afford to lose a day or two.” Do what you need to do to feel comfortable in your skin again- paint your nails, sleep in, clean your room, draw, sing or dance. Use a day off as a way of falling in love with being alone. After all, the only way you can properly serve and love others is by being able to serve and love yourself first.
- Make A Plan
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Every strong building ever constructed started as a blueprint; every successful company started as an idea; every successful human being has started with goals. Once you have taken the time to feel like yourself, go ahead and self-reflect. What have you been doing recently that has stopped you from feeling like your best self? What have you been doing that has been making you feel like your best self? Do you have any goals you want to achieve in the coming weeks, months, or years? These are all guiding questions that can help you form habits and goals that are tailored to the future you want to achieve. Decide on your goals, prepare yourself for the work that comes with them, and visualize yourself achieving them.
- Go Get ‘Em, Tiger
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This step is the hardest, by far. Take a chance on yourself. Leave behind all of the self-doubt and second guessing that comes from believing life is against you; that kind of attitude can only hold you back. Take life into your own hands: go out and seize the day. Do everything in your power to make changes, whether that be in your own life or in society at large. Take your goals and put them into action. Look at yourself in the mirror each morning and say, “I’ve got this.”
- Adapt and Overcome
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Even though you may be feeling better and more in control, move forward with the knowledge that hard times will come again. Everybody goes through hard times, and everyone gets into ruts. Don’t fear these periods of difficulty, but rather, use them to remind yourself how strong and beautiful you are. Each day is a new day, and each challenge is a chance to grow. Rainbows can’t come before rain, after all.
So, if you’ve not been feeling your best recently, I hope this has been helpful for you. If you don’t end up using these 5 steps, I hope that at least you take this away: you’re not alone. Struggle is a major part of the human experience, and you are more than tough enough to handle it. Get on your feet, girl. You’ve got this.