Why did we decide to go to college? To pursue a dream, to learn new things or maybe because college was the next step after high school in the course of our futures. No matter the reason, sometimes we get sidetracked from that initial drive with a busy social life. Everything from parties to student groups can distract us, but above all else relationships distract college students the most. Dating in college can be a distraction for many reasons, unless you do it right. Her Campus Albany is here to break down dating and how to overcome the challenges that come with it. Â
Making a move
Say you go to a party downtown with some friends. Everyone’s having a good time and not too far from where you are is someone you’ve been interested in for a while. You want to make a move but you’re shy, afraid you’ll get turned down so you do nothing. I can say from personal experience that approaching a person can be terrifying, however, nothing will ever happen if you do nothing. You’ll have a hard time dating if you can’t even get started. Take a chance, if you don’t you’ll always wonder and that’s even worse than rejection.
Sex
So let’s say you did make a move. Now you and this person are talking, hanging out and such but you haven’t been intimate really. College culture tells us that hooking up is the norm and that if you’ve been with someone for longer than a week and still haven’t hooked up then something’s wrong with you. Let me first say that if you are not ready to have sex with someone then don’t do it. Having sex before you’re ready can make things in a relationship awkward and then what could’ve been good or even great is ruined because you got ahead of yourself. Be responsible! I can’t stress enough that being irresponsible is the quickest way to turn things bad.
Trust
Assuming that everything is still going good, whether you had sex or not, tonight is date night and when they’re in the bathroom you take a peek at their texts. Wait a minute. I thought everything was good? Why are you looking through their phone? Maybe it’s the other way around and they’re in your contacts or all over your IG and every other social media you have an account for. All relationships are bound to fail if there is no trust. Things get really ugly when a couple doesn’t trust each other. If your business is all over YikYak then you have a problem. Situations like this can be easily avoided if you learn to trust each other. And trust is all a matter of how well you communicate. Talk more and you’ll have less problems in this area. And ladies, stop worrying about “chicken heads” talking about your relationship. If they have so much to say then okay that’s their business, you shouldn’t let it come in between you and yours. Strive to be more mature and smarter than petty things, after all we are in college.
Cheating
You found out they’ve been cheating? Well how you handle it is at your discretion of course but letting it linger in your mind without facing the situation can become a distraction. While sitting in a lecture on mitosis you’re thinking about them and their unfaithfulness, when you should be focusing on taking notes because mitosis is a lot more complex now than it was in high school and you have an exam on Monday. No one knows how you feel better than you do. Some may try to help you decide what to do but ultimately you have to do what you feel is best whether that’s working through it together or ending the relationship.Â
Her Campus Albany wants all its readers to have fun and healthy relationships because we know that school, work and whatever else you’re doing provide enough stress. Dating, although at times complex, can be one of the more enjoyable things about college but you have to make it enjoyable!