Dear John

Damn. I should have listened to my mother when she told me to let you go a thousand times

But I didn’t, I rejected her words.

I thought maybe we just needed a break in between our breaks. 

I allowed you to come back in my life

And you accepted each invitation.

Did we really love each other?

Was our bond unbreakable?

Were we soulmates?

Perhaps, I should have known better.

But I was still young, and still learning

All we knew was each other and we were willing to give us that chance to start over.

But each time we

Failed ourselves before we could fail one another.

Denial came first.

We were always in denial that we couldn’t work

We didn’t listen to time.

Time was telling us is time to let go but we just couldn’t 

Each break was a reality check that it was time to move on from one another 

But after the break was done we always found our way back to each other.

Either I called and you came running, or you called and I was right behind you.

We were best friends, not so much lovers

Our bond was scary.

When we were good it was great, when we were bad it was horrible 

I remember each argument we ever had.

The first time we broke up you wasn’t around on my birthday 

But still set aside the bullshit to wish me a happy birthday and make it clear that you still loved me.

I loved you too and trust as much as I wished I didn’t, I did

We were never really exes each time we broke up, just non-existent.

Now, I guess you can really call us exes.

And now, we’ve said things that we cannot take back

More so you than me.

If I recall, I was trying to get you back after I said I wasn’t ready to be with you again

Silly me

I never listen to myself 

Always going against the grain.

You said I was the one 

The one you saw yourself with for quite some time.

But now all that doesn’t matter 

It will never happen

I’m not the one

And neither are you.

I guess your grandmother was right 

I wonder what his initials stand for

Congratulations, you were blessed 

You were my best friend for the time being and now he is yours 

Hope you do right by him and his mother.

3 long years of up and downs and now we really came to an end.

Our story has reached the finished line

And now I can honestly say 

That there is no coming back 

No more living in the past 

No more taking ownership of you 

You don’t belong to me anymore.

I have completely let you go

I am FREE

Here are some final things I want you to know:

I finally deleted our pictures and videos

I’m finally moving on

I wish you nothing but the best

Here’s one last I love you

Here’s one last I loved you

Here’s one last I miss you

Here’s one last I missed you

Here’s goodbye to all the fun times we shared 

Here’s good riddance to all the fights, cheating, and disrespect

I’ve had enough and I am tired.

I can’t keep losing myself over and over again when it comes to you 

You are and were my 2nd love 

Now 

Here’s to number three

Maybe this one will last long because 

I feel free

You’re out of my life.

There’s no more next time.

• creative writing
• poetry