When becoming engaged, women in many cultures are faced with a dilemma of whether or not they should take their husband’s name or keep their original name. In the United States, most women opt for changing their names regardless of how they actually feel about it because it has become something expected of women. Here are some pros and cons to either changing or keeping your name.
Changing your name:Â
PRO: If you dislike your maiden name for any reason, now you have a perfectly good reason to change your name without people raising eyebrows. For instance, if you are just starting your career and your current last name is very long or hard to pronounce, changing it makes it easier for your name to get out there.
PRO: Having the same last name as all the members of your family creates a sense of unity and belonging with your new family members. It also saves you a conversation that you would need to have with your children about “why mommy’s last name is different from yours”.
CON: It is a huge change because you are basically changing your identity. Imagine all the companies you have to notify about your name change. It must be changed on every bill you pay and the process can lead to a lot of paperwork. Keeping your name means no paperwork!
CON: Your past accomplishments will be attached with your maiden name and changing it could harm you professionally. Your old last name will be on all of your degrees and past awards, but it still does not take away your accomplishments.Â
Keeping your name:
PRO: Hating your husband’s last name is a great reason to keep your maiden name. Some last names are hard to pronounce and can cause confusion. You do not want to be miserable every time you have to write your new last name down. If you love your maiden name, then keep it.
PRO: If your identity or ethnicity can be easily pointed out in your last name and you are very proud of that, maybe a change in your last name may not be right for you. Many people take pride in their last name because it represents their root and the names hold great meaning. Marrying someone of a different culture and taking their last name may cause you to feel out of place.
CON: People are going to call your husband’s last name anyway. We as a society still expect women to change their names, so people assume that you have taken your husband’s name already. It can get quite annoying having to correct people all the time.Â
CON: You may not have the same last name as your children. Most children take their father’s last name and not changing your name may result in a lot of questions from your kids. Some people choose to give their children both last names.
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