For many, college is an enormous social transition for the idea of friendship. The beauty of being in a new environment is that you have the power to start fresh with the past lesson’s learned in mind. By lessons I am simply referring to those toxic friendships that we all have, or may even still be struggling through. There doesn’t seem to be a generic definition for friendship, but there are definitely certain personality traits to avoid when creating new friendships. To make things easier, just keep in mind the four C’s. If someone is constantly crazy, competitive, cynical or convenient, it may be a good idea to reevaluate your relationship.
The Crazy Friend
The term “crazy” is simply highlighting a recurring concern. We all have that crazy friend, you may even be that friend. Keeping things interesting is a huge responsibility, and admit it, it makes for the best stories, but The Crazy Friend is above and beyond the acceptable line of crazy. To clarify, the line that should not be crossed relates to putting themselves or anyone else in serious danger or distress. Everyone wants to have a good time when with friends, but if you spend more time playing babysitter to keep a friend from diving off the deep end, it may be time to reevaluate your friendship.
Competition: Friend vs. Friend
From school work right down to followers on social media, some people thrive off the satisfaction of “winning”. Can you think of that one friend who always seems to have that slight glint of competition in their eye? Fueling their need to come out on top, this friend is usually horrible when it comes to recognizing another person’s successes without wanting to set the bar higher. With this being said, if someone is constantly trying to outdo your successes, your relationship with this person is toxic. Their successes shouldn’t dictate the significance of yours, and if they find competition more important than celebrating you, you may be missing out on celebrating with friends who do.
Cynical Cindy
Everyone is entitled to the occasional pity party. It takes a good friend to listen and an even better friend to throw in an occasional nod of agreement. A pity party is meant to come every once in a while, but if that negative energy is becoming a prominent part of that person’s personality, it may be time to reconsider if it’s healthy friendship. If you find yourself constantly overloading situations with positivity in hopes it will cure their negative attitude, it may be time to find other people who appreciate, and hopefully even share, your peppy personality.
Only If It’s Convenient…
This friend is just a big TBD. As long as they don’t have plans, they will be your bestie, but in a pinch you’re not their go-to person. This can be one of the hardest friendships to recognize. When they need someone to listen, they know you’re always going to pick up the phone, or meet them for coffee, but they never seem to be as willing to listen when it comes to problems of your own. One day you can be spending every moment together, and the next you become a second option. If they make plans that are obviously subject to change according to any other offer that might roll in, cancel. Make yourself your own priority and make sure no one takes advantage of your loyalty.