This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at American chapter.
Open relationships. Even if you’re not in one, you have heard of them before. Your friend and her high school boyfriend may have entered into one before going to college. Or maybe your hookup last night told you not to worry about their significant other, it’s fine, they’re in an “open relationship.” It may seem weird to you. Why would you date someone if you wanted to see other people? Are you cheating? Do you even trust one another? Does it work?
People enter in open relationships for a lot of different reasons. The most common reason is distance. You love one another, but the 10 hour travel time to see one another is not doing you two any favors. Why not see other people?
An open relationship is not for everyone. It requires a certain level of trust and honesty. It requires rules and boundaries. It requires communication. For some, it just won’t work out, but for others, it will! Here are some tips for making your open relationship work!
Set boundaries
Before entering into an open relationship with your partner, set boundaries with them. How far are you allowed to go with another person? Can you go on dates? Setting boundaries with your partner can increase trust and make you feel more comfortable with seeing other people knowing that you are each following a set of rules set together. That being said, do not restrict your partner more than they restrict you nor should you allow yourself to be restricted more than your partner. Agree on fair and equal boundaries together.
Communicate with the other person
Before you go on a date or hook-up with a third party, let them know your situation. Make sure they are comfortable with it and aware what it would mean for your relationship. Never deceive a person outside of your open relationship.
Communicate with your partner
Make sure your communication with your partner remains regular. While some relationships pursue a “don’t-ask-don’t-tell” policy when it comes to being with other people, make sure you are still comfortable communicating with your partner about being with another person. Even if you have no intention of telling them and they have no intention of finding out, make sure that, if you were to tell them, both of you would be perfectly comfortable with knowing. If you ever feel fear or discomfort informing your partner of being with another person, this is a potentially dangerous situation. You should always feel comfortable communicating with your partner.
Stay safe
Go ahead, have some fun! But, be safe. Remember that if an unfavorable situation should arise, you have a responsibility to inform your primary partner as well as any other partners you may have.
Trust each other
It’s normal to think of one another and, yes, it’s normal to feel some jealousy. Just trust your partner as they trust you and know that you both want each other to be happy. That being said, if incessant jealously is making you unhappy, it’s okay to discuss potentially closing your relationship with your partner. Do not be afraid to bring up any of your feelings with one another. Otherwise, these feelings with just simmer and will make you feel more uncomfortable.
Don’t worry, having a closed relationship even if there’s a distance doesn’t mean you’re going to be having any less fun than those in open relationships. In fact, it may make things more fun when you guys finally see each other! For those in an open relationship, enjoy your exploration. And who knows? This may make your relationship even stronger!