If you have ever felt as if your sole purpose in friendships and relationships is to act as a human-sounding board, you’re not alone. Finding the balance between being a good friend and partner, and caring for yourself is tough. Society and social media have greatly romanticized the notion of caring for oneself, with the stigmas of being “selfish”, “extra” or “dramatic”. However, if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you even begin to help others?
Journaling is a technique used to put your thoughts and feelings on paper in order to understand them more clearly. Engaging in journaling has been proven to boost overall memory and comprehension. It is also beneficial to have a running log of your feelings so you are able to reflect on your feelings from a different time and see your emotional growth.
Stretching yourself so thin to the point where you disregard the advice you give to others is exhausting. To break free of this mentally-draining cycle, putting yourself first will require a conscious effort. Start small, grab a pen and a notebook and carve out 10-20 minutes of your day to focus on one of these journaling prompts targeted towards self-prioritization.
“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.”
Christina Baldwin
- If you were in jail and you had one phone call to bail you out, who would you call? What qualities about this person do you admire, and how can you work to instill these qualities in yourself?
Think of someone you know who will be there for you through good and bad. When you think of a person who fits this description, think to yourself about the admirable qualities they possess. Why do you appreciate these traits, and what can you do to acquire those qualities in yourself?
- What are three things you would not change about this exact moment?
Use this time that you have given yourself with intention. Look around you; do you feel comfortable in the clothes you have on? If you’re in bed, are you feeling cozy? Is the weather enjoyable? Focusing on the “smaller” aspects of life gradually makes us realize how much there is to be grateful for.
- When was the last time you did something that brought you genuine happiness? Describe that experience.
Think back to a time you were truly, unapologetically happy. When was that? Were you having dinner with family or friends? Were you playing with your pet back home? Had you just finished a workout class that really made you sweat? Describe how you felt in that moment and why it made you so genuinely happy.
“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”
Mandy Hale
- What do you wish someone would ask you about right now? Write as if you are answering them.
As an individual who cares deeply for other people, it may often seem like you are always the one checking up on your friends around you, with no reciprocation. Everyone needs a check-in, no matter how strong or secure they may seem on the outside. What is something that you wish someone would ask you about right now? “How was your interview? How did that dinner go the other night?”. Whatever it may be, let yourself answer the question you’ve been waiting to be asked, because you deserve a check-in too.
- What is your favorite non-physical quality about yourself and why?
With the overwhelming influence of social media, it’s often hard not to compare yourself to other women. The media frenzy of society has warped the perception of beauty into a superficial ideal. What is your favorite non-physical trait about yourself, one that makes you unique? Is it your intelligence? Your courage to speak in front of your colleagues in class? Your passion for advocacy work? Whatever it may be, reflect on why that quality makes you, you.
Prioritizing yourself is no easy feat, and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight. You will grow immensely as a person if you give yourself a portion of the energy you offer others. It’s time to start treating yourself with the love and admiration you show others.