March Horoscopes

March comes in like midterms and leaves like the Cherry Blossom Festival — but what about the in-between? Ouija boards, vanilla lattes, sororities — unearth clues to your AU future below.

Capricorn: Now is the time to break free. Take that minor in graphic design, wear tangerine lipstick while you discuss your plans to save the world, shed your inner sweater-vest. Keep long term consequences within earshot, but do not let them drown out the happy noise that is all around you these days. Don’t worry about little failures, little complications — they make the story interesting. Add new rooms to your daydreams, get sunlight under your fingernails. Do you think Ariana Grande worries about grammar, now that she “become who I really are?” No! So don’t be afraid to become who you really am.

Aquarius: Someone you know is hoping to know you better. Maybe they missed you on Valentine’s day, or hadn’t run into you at TDR yet. Who could it be? You’re known for your mystery, Aquarius, but now might be a good time to lay down your weapons (just for a little while!) Maybe it’s a childhood best friend who wants to reconnect, maybe it’s a professor who wants to spark an exciting career option, but then again…the stars I saw reflected in the black ice outside of MGC suggest it’s more romantic than that.

Pisces: Look closer this month, Pisces. Look at the patterns in the coffee rings, at the way chipped nail polish can look like continents (it’s really cool) look at the other metro-riders on the way to your internship. Your friends know they can always turn to you for practical, confident advice, but even CEO’s value imagination. You’ll be the first to make one of those cool bulletin-board-and-string-between-the-photos charts, but tap into your creativity this month. It’s going to be a good year for you. Just keep swimming!

Aries: Like Parks and Rec, one of the storylines in your life is wrapping up this month. It may happen quickly, like a computer crash, or gradually, like trying to order a bagel at Einstein’s and after what feels like decades, finally hearing the cashier ask, “How you paying?” But the end of an era is not always a bad thing. Look at the early 2000’s. Thankfully, neckties-as-belts, panic rooms, and basically everything else that defined the early 2000’s, ended. Say goodbye to whatever is nervously pacing your life and wearing holes in the carpet.

Taurus: You’ve been working extra hard lately, Taurus. You’ve used so many highlighters in the past week, your fingerprints practically glow in the dark, and as you run from work to class to the grocery store, a blizzard of technicolor sticky notes hurtles around you. It may be time for midterms soon, but you’ll do better if you take a break now and then. Sometimes it helps to lie facedown on the floor, or squish a cat (gently.) It may not feel like it, but you are on top of your crazy schedule, and you will win the war. With the help of an occasional chai and movie night.

Gemini: You are a secret source of inspiration for more than one person. You’re like the muse behind the music videos — think “Lionhearted,” where something really confusing is going on and these wild girls are both vandalizing the city and fixing its electricity. If life were “Lionhearted,” you would be the one to lead the girl gang. Step outside of your own perspective now and then, and imagine you were reading the story of your life. It is exciting, it is fascinating, and all sorts of people would probably find it publishable.

Cancer:  Now is a good time to stay warm. Spring is creeping up through the dirt, and you can feel it, and it’s driving you crazy. You feel like standing in the snow barefoot just to get weird looks, you want to shake summer out like a rug and lay down on it. While buying six huskies is tempting, it might be better to look for other ways to stay warm. Write a letter to a friend and cover it with stickers, throw glitter on your roommate and see what happens, talk to a stranger in a diner at dawn. Soon there will be cherry blossoms. Hang in there.

Leo:  It may feel like you’re trying to light up the entire night-world with only a flashlight these days, so listen to M.I.A. and remember that the past is far away. An Oscar-worthy victory is a month or two away (yes, it will be better than Boyhood), you just have to drive through ghosts to get there. The song “Wait it Out” gets it right: “pain on pain on play repeating/With a back-up, makeshift life in waiting.” It’s easier to ignore dark themes (Evanescence is SO seventh grade), but now is the time to kick the tragedy. Trust the struggle, trust the army of friends and cats you’ve built. 

Virgo: You have a wild, active mind, and it begins to lose interest and motivation mid-semester. If you’re struggling to pay attention (hello, too many PowerPoints) or find yourself dozing off mid-conversation with the kids in the lounge, it might be time to shake things up in a major way. Buy a thousand gel pens and take explosive, colorful notes (this really works — see Cornell Notes), reward yourself with an M&M for each paragraph you read in the psych textbook, start a club. Write a story. Studies say multi-tasking is unproductive, but you might be the exception. 

Libra: There are so many philosophical questions hitting you at any given moment, it can get be difficult to get through a single stroke of eyeliner without pausing to question existence. That’s ok. You see beauty where other people see perfectly normal wallpaper, you predict the ends of movies before we even know the plot. In the short story, “After the Flood,” the narrator says, “I have trouble sometimes distinguishing between the two: what is normal and what is amazing.” You show people see that distinction constantly, even when you don’t feel normal or amazing. 

Scorpio: You’ve been working toward a goal for a long time now, and even if it is not as close as you hoped it would be to wrapping up, early celebration is wise and fun and worth practicing this month. With the high standards you set for yourself, you sometimes run the risk of burning out — it’s probably happened before. Pace yourself, Scorpio. Maybe shrink the dream into microdreams, and watch them hatch one at a time. Then stand back, and look how far you’ve come.

Sagittarius: This month holds risks that can’t be overcome with wit or rebellion, and surprises whose force and light won’t be dimmed by vicious thoughts or natural disasters. You have to find new ways of moving through new worlds, and March will be full of them. The best thing to do is to approach the challenges with confidence and a cool temper, and the miracles with the knowledge that, wild as they may be, you deserve every one of them.

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