I remember hearing on social media about how lonely it can be in college before I arrived. Students nearing their first or second winter break of college would talk about how it’s actually hard to meet people, and that they hadn’t made any friends their first semester in college. I remember thinking it wouldn’t be that hard for me, and that I’d have a semi-solid group of friends in no time. But I was wrong.
I think college really is the epitome of feeling alone in a room full of people, and I feel like no one talks about that side of college. I know I can’t be alone in feeling like this. Going to a new place where you know no one is scary, especially as someone who is more introverted. It’s been difficult to say the least.
It also makes it worse to see people on social media having fun with seemingly close friends, making all these memories when you’re alone in your dorm watching TV and doing work. I think something that’s important to remember (something that I constantly have to tell myself) is that social media can be extremely deceiving. There are more people feeling lonely than it seems on the surface.
Another thing to try and remember is that making friends takes time, and feeling comfortable in your new environment also takes time. We freshmen have really only been here a little over a month, so it makes sense that we still feel lonely. I’m a really impatient person, so it’s been a bit hard realizing this. It still sucks, but remembering that all things pass kind of helps me.
This is easier said than done: try to join clubs and do activities, even if you have no one to do them with. As someone who came here knowing nobody, it’s made it hard to meet people, as a majority of the activities that have been circulating around campus I’ve had to do by myself. This can be scary sometimes, but I think it’s really the easiest and most natural way to meet people. Knowing that you have a common interest with someone can make it easier to approach them.
It’s also so important that you’re able to enjoy your own company. Being alone and doing things by yourself shouldn’t be such a negative thing. There can be so much peace, at least for me, in going to get a coffee, window-shop on King Street, then go read in Sanford Mall. I think also something that’s helped me a little bit is romanticizing my nights at home with skincare, aromatherapy, and either reading a book or a movie. These things obviously might not work for everybody, but the bottom line is that if you don’t enjoy being with yourself, it makes it so much harder to put yourself out there and make friends.
As hard as it is, I think those of us who feel lonely right now need to realize that this too shall pass. As we join more clubs and meet more people, we will meet more people that we click with, but it’s just going to take time. I think all there is to do right now is to really try to learn how to enjoy our own company, and to just enjoy the process.